If you were a member of the opposite sex Semi NSFW

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by kama, Jun 1, 2010.

  1. kama

    kama benkama.net

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2002
    Messages:
    2,768
    Likes Received:
    48
    Location:
    Halfway between the gutter and stars
    Ok peeps. A magical soft gentle stroke from a well built asexual unicorn changes you to a member of the opposite sex for a day. What do you do?
     
  2. dnbkingz

    dnbkingz bollocks

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2009
    Messages:
    4,766
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    Somewhere
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    Finger myself to death.
     
  3. Jwood27

    Jwood27 VICTIM

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2009
    Messages:
    8,127
    Likes Received:
    1,343
    Location:
    Cardiff
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    beat me to it
     
  4. RevTech

    RevTech Butthole=output transduce

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2008
    Messages:
    3,657
    Likes Received:
    33
    Location:
    AZ
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    take a wild guess
     
  5. Scatcat

    Scatcat It don't mean shit

    Joined:
    May 1, 2010
    Messages:
    1,788
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    London
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    well i guess i'd do the washing and then cook dinner, it's not gonna do itself now is it?
     
  6. DamageCase7

    DamageCase7 Better off dead.

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2009
    Messages:
    3,169
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    Croydon, London
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    See how many cocks I could chew....



    Not that I do it now or anything....
     
  7. st420

    st420 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2009
    Messages:
    530
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Perth, WA
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    apparently they have wayyyy better orgasms. so finger myself to death is the only logical thing to do
     
  8. DontLikeCops

    DontLikeCops Certified tramp

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2009
    Messages:
    1,171
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    peckham
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    i'd be the bukkake target :1:
     
  9. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2009
    Messages:
    4,375
    Likes Received:
    3,778
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    Spend all my spare time infront of a mirror, modelling various nighties/undergarments, intersparsed with lots of playing with my beautiful nipples & maybe sticking the odd hairbrush in my poohole...

    So pretty much exactly what I do now.
     
  10. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2009
    Messages:
    4,039
    Likes Received:
    119
    Location:
    Blackpool, United Kingdom
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    i'd have a poo. i'm sure its alot less of a challenge when ya arse isnt covered in hair.
     
  11. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,547
    Likes Received:
    2,521
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    you know i cant think of a single thing id do. its one of the last things id want to happen, ever. other than my skin darkening and my religion jewishing of course
     
  12. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2008
    Messages:
    8,775
    Likes Received:
    1,795
    Location:
    STN
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    go back to my place with the unicorn, take pictures, post them on the internet, then explain im really a man!
     
  13. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,547
    Likes Received:
    2,521
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    youre not making any sense theodore.
     
  14. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2008
    Messages:
    8,775
    Likes Received:
    1,795
    Location:
    STN
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    pot kettle :D
     
  15. herojuana

    herojuana hairy kuala

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2009
    Messages:
    5,588
    Likes Received:
    948
    Location:
    London/Sheffield
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    definitely go out on the pull, let someone have there evil way with me, then wake up to find i am a dude :teeth:

    that or try and turn some fit lesbians straight by being so terrible in bed. it would be nice for that to happen that way round for once
     
  16. kama

    kama benkama.net

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2002
    Messages:
    2,768
    Likes Received:
    48
    Location:
    Halfway between the gutter and stars
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    Pondering upon this overnight, I think I would go check out what is so fucking difficult in parallel parking.
     
  17. Harry3

    Harry3 Chuki

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2009
    Messages:
    8,038
    Likes Received:
    736
    Location:
    Canada
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    post tits
     
  18. dnbkingz

    dnbkingz bollocks

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2009
    Messages:
    4,766
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    Somewhere
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    I'd get one my closed girl friends to come over my gaff.
    We'd chat all night, drinking wine and sharing love stories (obviously i'd have to make some epicness up at this point, but my imagination is pretty vivid)
    Soon we start to talk about sex, bumping uglies. I'd ask her if she's ever wanted to be close with another woman, and slowly run my hand up her thigh.

    Soon we'd be in bed together, stroking eachother in various bodilly places. Whispering sweet nothings into eachother's ears.

    After a while we'd scissor like mad until we both climax at the same time.



    She wakes up in the morning to see me, as a bloke again. With a piece of cardboard around my neck saying 'gotcha' with me, striking the fonze 'eyyyy' pose.

    That is what i'd so after i had fingered myself to death, obviously...
     
  19. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2003
    Messages:
    18,697
    Likes Received:
    1,944
    Location:
    Watford
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    Ahahahahahaha WIN!
    [​IMG]
     
  20. mistasfx

    mistasfx MISTA SFX

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2007
    Messages:
    2,217
    Likes Received:
    52
    Location:
    Near the Lake District
    Re: If you were a member of the opposite sex

    shop til i drop then go see Sex in the City 2 then go clubbing only to let some bloke buy me drinks all night, tease him then blow him out. then get home and go nuts on a double ended suction cup dildo