i was always dubious about creationism......

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by rob_del_terror, Apr 3, 2013.

  1. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    and then i read this.....

    Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting. He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?'

    God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?'

    'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'

    'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.

    God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth. 'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.'

    God continued, pointing to the different countries.

    This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'

    The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?'

    'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, seven Premiership football teams in the North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'

    Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'

    God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South!
     
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  2. jungle_fever

    jungle_fever Well-Known Member

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    if a northerner makes money they move south.... simples
     
  3. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    and spends the rest of his life despising the cunts around him......
     
  4. jungle_fever

    jungle_fever Well-Known Member

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    we have 6 in one city alone
     
  5. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    hey community is like my fave show right now. i wouldnt stream it. but if i see it i might watch it, its like wonderwall with oasis. wouldnt buy the album, wouldnt even steal it from some jerks house. but i watch it on mtv and learnt a few parts on the guitar, possibly use quotes from it to pick up a girl when i was fourteen
     
  6. Forau

    Forau CONCUSSION RECS

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    Wanna talk about cunts?

    Northerners are neanderthals mate.


    I give the joke a 3/10. Far too long for a pretty crappy payoff.
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2013
  7. Shatner's Bosom

    Shatner's Bosom murder TANMUSHIMUSHI

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    [​IMG]
     
  8. jungle_fever

    jungle_fever Well-Known Member

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    so weird that you used that word. was literally about to say the same thing
     
  9. Forau

    Forau CONCUSSION RECS

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    Ive spent time round Leeds/Hull/Huddersfield etc and werent impressed at all by pretty much anything.

    Its seriously like everywhere north of birmingham is about 10 years behind the rest of England. Have you seen how terrible internet is up north?? Its because round Hull way they only have one ISP i think??
     
  10. Kenneth4Eva

    Kenneth4Eva Let's Breed

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    haaaaa lol i to like this joke
     
  11. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    its not my fault your all silver spoon fed, kept in a bubble, "oh no my iphones crashed" fannies is it?
     
  12. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    haha wait just hang on is this northern vs. southern uk thread? gods who caaaaaaaaressss
    GERMANY WOULD WIN IMMEDIATELY OVER BOTH. BUNCH OF JERKS. MEIN HERTZ BRENNT.
     
  13. DeeGun

    DeeGun Church of Krust

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  14. ScottyEightSix

    ScottyEightSix HUGE EARS > COMEDY CHIN

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    Sure is southern faries with sandy vaginas in here
     
  15. Forau

    Forau CONCUSSION RECS

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    Sure is northerners who have no idea how much better it is down south in here :teeth:
     
  16. jungle_fever

    jungle_fever Well-Known Member

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    the whole "i'm from up north and have had a rough life. All southerners have had it so easy" thing is so ridiculous! If you think that is true then you're the one who is kept in a bubble.

    Also its 'You're' not 'your'.....Gotta keep on top of your grammar if YOU'RE going to try and be successful enough to move down south.
     
  17. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    why wont someone from the east or west chime in, those are normally the more polarized

    - - - Updated - - -

    also i think greece could take over the uk, quite easily. coat of arms flying in the wind, for the glory of hellas.
     
  18. Shatner's Bosom

    Shatner's Bosom murder TANMUSHIMUSHI

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  19. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    truth hurts

    so here it is

    Most (not all) people are cunts, regardless of location

    southerner's are mostly hostile, un trusting, not very friendly cunts.

    northerns are friendly cunts but its colder up north and people talk funny.
     
  20. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    whats that. what did you just do there. what the frick frack. is that terpits.