I just fucking hate this shithole of country I live in!!!

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Dark Lizardro, Sep 5, 2014.

  1. Dark Lizardro

    Dark Lizardro The Lizard that has a hammer Staff Member

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    [​IMG] SLOWER than 61% of Brazil? Holy fuck, man. I'm in the middle of the financial capital of south america!
     
  2. IV4

    IV4 Currently a newt.

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    Being the financial capital of south America is like being the richest guy in a homeless camp.

    [​IMG]
     
  3. Dark Lizardro

    Dark Lizardro The Lizard that has a hammer Staff Member

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    EXACTLY! And that why I pay loads of money for a shitty service.
     
  4. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    ur internet might be shit, but i'd happily switch countries with you.
    here we our women are ugly, sunshine is restricted to 4 days a year, and you have to say sorry when someone bumps into you!
     
    sam the dnb man and logikz like this.
  5. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    teddy has a point, you know. but its too warm for me in brazil, i mean, hell, germany is too warm for me. not to mention france. fking france
     
  6. ManuForti

    ManuForti Detached Audio

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    yes finally a house swap thread...

    [​IMG]

    I pay pretty much nothing for this... and the woman are fat and ugly... Cold all the time and cloudy... Intrested?
     
  7. Catsel

    Catsel Well-Known Dismember

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  8. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    "sorry"? sorry for what michael goddamn it, use full sentences!!

    or ill murder your Labrador. put it in a bag and sink it in the river. i done it before, you know i done it before. dont think i wont do it again.
     
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  9. Catsel

    Catsel Well-Known Dismember

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    sorry brew
     
  10. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    grammatically sound, but semantically wrong. ill get drunk later because of this, i hope youre happy. thats a relevant question actually, maybe we should have a "are you happy" thread?
     
  11. Catsel

    Catsel Well-Known Dismember

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    semitically?
     
  12. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    absolutely not, not under any circumstances. dog waffen will be most distraught, and we simply cannot have that.

    i. am. bellend.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 5, 2014
  13. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    Damn son.
    Don't be so hard on yourself. :carlton:
     
  14. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    what! it looks like something i couldve written, only i was sure i didnt put that there, its odd, and shit like this keeps happening to me, thusly, allow me to tell the riveting tale of my t-shirt (what i am presently wearing) within brackets is the title, but keep in mind, it is a work in progress.

    yesterday i had a really shit morning. woke up and had 4 minutes before i really really had to be out, or id be late for work again and, shit would majorly hit the fan, as i was herond on monday tuesday and basically fell asleep during meetings and other really really stupid shit to be doing on your 2nd week.

    so i grab a hilfiger shirt, put on black jeans and haul ass to the tram, when i notice the stench of putrefaction, druggy sweat B.O, sordid sex funk and shame, lots and lots of shame. i stink like a homeless person basically. so round 10.30 i run to american apparel, and buy myself a v-neck tee and a sepia colored college sweater, throw that shit on, and return to work like a boss. the whole thing took 20 minutes, and the day was saved.

    later, when i got home that same night, i stink of sweat again, but at least its the funk of the day, and not the collected stench of a week worth of fear excreted through my armpits (of death). so i take it off and chuck it in the wash pile, proceed to read about nazi use of "strigoi", down a liter of wine, and fall asleep thinking about heron.

    wake up this morning, look next to me, and there is another white v-neck tee from american apparel, but with stretchy fabric, the price tag still on there and even the size sticker!! where in the world did that come from? why was it in my bed? i certainly didnt buy two, and if i would have, i wouldve gotten the same fabric!

    im wearing it now. its sexy, you can see my nipples.

    and this, my friends, is the riveting tale of "my t-shirt".
     
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  15. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    Karl, if half your stories are true, you live one incredible and thought provoking life.
    I salute you on your achievements and wish you the best of luck with your future endeavours.
     
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  16. Dark Lizardro

    Dark Lizardro The Lizard that has a hammer Staff Member

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    [MENTION=30915]Teddy[/MENTION] you say your women are ugly, you have 4 sunny days a year, when you bump into other person you have to say "I'm sorry", but still you have good internet. Do you live in Antarctica? I mean, if you are somewhat a guy who does research for a big company there, you'll have all these elements.
     
  17. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    WHAT IN THE FUCK! "BEST OF LUCK" AND ENDEAVOURS AND SHIT, YOURE FIRING ME??
     
  18. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    Antarctica would rule. ma facking penguins and shit.
    But sadly its england.

    Sorry Karl, but your productivity is down and the sexual harassment claims from Colin in the post room keep pouring in.
    This graph should explain everything.
    [​IMG]
     
  19. Dark Lizardro

    Dark Lizardro The Lizard that has a hammer Staff Member

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    I'd love to live in England. So, when do we exchange?
     
  20. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    I think we should have a trial run over xmas. That gives me enough time to learn some of the lingo.
    What do you guys do for xmas? In Barcelona they have these freaky logs.
    [​IMG]