I fucking hate my Cockatoo!!!

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by jmzmaloney, Jul 24, 2012.

  1. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    Fucker always knows how to goad me at my weakest moments. I find myself calling him "wanker" each time I pass his cage. If I let him out the little bastard acts all pally comes along chirping in my ear then when I let my guard down lays a viscious assault on my eyebrow. Not to mention the countless mornings with the little bastard screaming his head off when I'm trying to watch my stories.

    Anyone else own any billigerent wanker animals?
     
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  2. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Staff Member

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    Ah that bad eh? I was gonna get one. Might have to go with the budgies instead. You still got your dog?
     
  3. ONSLAUGHT88

    ONSLAUGHT88 I sees ya I do I sees ya

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    Nah man but I really hate slugs atm, major infestation along my newly built footpath home, they eat each other and everything but just the skin it seems, really makes me feel sick
     
  4. Catsel

    Catsel Well-Known Dismember

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    the cockatoos on the eylandt were fucking annoying! makin loads of noise at 4am.

    bats azwell, they are cunts.
     
  5. Joey AdhD

    Joey AdhD sweaty scouser

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    yeah that cockatoo sounds like a fucking right dickhead....I had this propa prat of a goldfish once...wont even go into what he got upto but it wasnt too far from when you are going through, the little pleb met a watery grave in the bog after a vicious outburst towards an ex girlfriend.
     
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  6. ManuForti

    ManuForti Detached Audio

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    reminds me of my bird (scottish for girlfriend)
     
  7. rysk

    rysk Part-time waster

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    my cat used to be a bit of a dickbreath, he would come up sit on me, start pawing at my new clothes and shit, pulling threads like a cunt, then fart and fuck off like it aint no ting....but he fell in a frozen canal and died, so jokes on him.
     
  8. ThePapa

    ThePapa Suffragette City..

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    Ermm...wouldn't it have been frozen?
     
  9. rysk

    rysk Part-time waster

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    fell through the ice, jumped out and run off not to be seen again for a week when we found him all dead and shit in a bush...quite sad really, i did love him...he was just a wanker
     
  10. Catsel

    Catsel Well-Known Dismember

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    thats how i feel about you.

    but without the love.

    :teeth:
     
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  11. IV4

    IV4 Currently a newt.

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    You should butcher a chicken in front of your bird. Tell him "Your next" I'm sure that would turn him around.
     
  12. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    Yeah the dogs doing well, she hates the bastard too. He tries to get her on his side by throwing seed on the floor for her to hoover up, then when hes regained her trust, he lets out a shrill to let her know someone is walking past the window, she jumps up barking at the window and pulling the blinds down, the fucking wanker bird knows exactly what hes doing, starts singing a merry little song whilst shes sent into the garden to think about what shes just done
     
  13. DJError

    DJError AKA Error

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    a mate of mine had a cockatoo, he says they're quite painful to have as well