I CAN HAZ BURGR

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by EWOKS, Sep 4, 2014.

  1. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    of recent times ive been looking into making the perfect burger.. ive tried many a recipe, adding egg, adding worcester sauce, ect ect ... now yesterday i followed this guys recipe...

    apart from him being a massive helmet, it really did speak for itself and was fucking great... i used Brioshe buns... " treat it like a steak " .. is the bestg advice i drew from it, i added nothing...

    i went to the local butcher and said i wanted a good piece of chuck steak, here we call it braising steak... it has a great flavour, usually has a decent fat ratio - 20-25% , so he picked a decent slab of meat - was only £5.00 and i got shit loads, he then fed it through the mincer ... took it home.. bit'o salt and pepper to season... best burgs i ever had.

     
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  2. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    my, that looks tasty. lately though, i havent had this much food in my life since i was in school, living at home. we have free food at work and im eating all the damn time. but not good cheese burger, good lord that looks tasty.
     
  3. Skuff

    Skuff Well-Known Member

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    Fuck that's a good looking burger! Would deffo cook it a touch more though
     
  4. Toejam

    Toejam OOOBEY DOOBEY

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    If you buy some nice mince etc. make sure to chop up a few strips of smoked bacon and chuck it into the patty too, and just a small badger fingering of paprika aswell
     
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  5. Catsel

    Catsel Well-Known Dismember

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    theres this place. in sumner,

    makes these bar snacks that are basically min burgers.. fuck ing lavish i tell you.. i'l go back this wkend and find out what was in them.
     
  6. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    his sauce game is lacking though!! mustard and ketchup?? thats the whole of it?? alls in all though, i want that burger. might make it this weekend actually. do you reckon making the patty yourself is strickly necessary though?
     
  7. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    YARS!! THATS THE MAIN PART YOU HEATHEN !! ... IF YOU BUY ALLREADY MINCED MINCE YOUVE FAILED... BUY CHUCK / BRAISING STEAK.. GET MINCED... FORM PATTY ... EAT BURGR ... GET FAT ... I AGREE DOE... SAUCE GAME IS PONY.
     
  8. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    what about a hamburger with a steak instead of a patty, does that work? its probably too chewy, unless you make fillets, maybe...

    and the main part is the cheese, know you nothing! that yellow processed plastic american cheese that you cant tell if you took off the plastic wrapping or not, aint no burger without that.
     
  9. SIRUS

    SIRUS 変なひと

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    Need to try this. Butchers near me is SWELL. I'm sure they have that under the counter nose bleed good stuff like Royston Vassey.
     
  10. ThePapa

    ThePapa Suffragette City..

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  11. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    Sorry but thats fucking lame...

    I'm currently in the midst of a defcon 5 hangover, but when i've hair of the dogged my bumbaclaat & got rid of the incesant need to masturbate, i will educate you.
     
  12. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    im happy to be educated... there this place thats just opened near me, a restuarant selling just burgers.. called 6oz ... and they pretty much do the same... let the prime steak do the talking.. but if your gunna get all different flavours and spices on me , thats fine.. i know all about blue cheese and different shit i can put in them as ive tried loads .. im just saying.. this was the simplest and for me was tasty as fueeuurrak.

    but i am fully awares of your sammich game... so im happy to be re-educated on the burger game...

    - - - Updated - - -

    i did this one before - Worcestershire , paprika , black pepper , salt , dark brown sugar , garlic powder , onion powder, gorund cayenne .. was alright .. did a tex mex one aswell which was abit meh.
     
  13. ThePapa

    ThePapa Suffragette City..

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    Steak hache is nicer than normal burgers Moskit, I thought you'd be on that. Ewoks if you can avoid spending money on Vans or whatever the latest craze is you should try it.
     
  14. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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  15. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    sorry but i cant not spend money on vans. need. vans. and heron, goddamn im jonzing hardddddddddddd HALP MALONEYS HALP FFS
     
  16. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    * waits for anrew *
     
  17. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    still currently waiting for the best burg recipe! sir.
     
  18. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    has andrew promised something and not done it again? been a dildo again, has he? surpriiiiiiiiise
     
  19. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    YEAH. IVE NOT EATEN SINCE HE PROMISED TO BRING THE BURGER RECIPE OF BURGER RECIPES.
     
  20. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    okay,

    it's been a few months... and i think i fucking cracked the big one recently...

    burger swag activated.


    80/20 braising steak, get butcher to mince it there and then, select meat with nice marbling of fat..

    season with freshly milled black pepper and salt and garlic powder, all powdered down in a pestle and mortar together and coating your room temp patties

    dont over work them fuckers, make into burgs.

    get a pan and on a low heat in abit of butter and oil slowly for like 20 mins slowly fry red onions.. bown them and caramelise them.. make them taste sweet like virgins thighs, soft like ear of mouse, loose and juicy like sleeve of wizard, like fishermans well worn seaboot... you get the jizzt

    get burger patties that have been resting...grill the mofuckers on a griddle pan or frying pan or hot plate or


    right, then go to waitrose or m&s .. and buy the brioche burger buns... infact, do this first... burgers be cold otherwise son.

    now go to morrisons and buy the Chovi allioli creamy garlic dip and their smoked Gruyere cheese

    toast the buns abit...

    spread with the garlic dip,

    slice gruyererereeeereair cheese, lay on the burgs, and a tbsp of water to the pan and put on lid... the steam will melt the cheese over them... you know how i do.

    then lay cheesey gruyere burgers on the aioli laced toasted brioche egg bun wonderments.

    then lay on your overly nang sweet caramelized red onions

    then abit more aioli on the top bun

    then eat the fuck out of that virgin meat slab

    trust.

    mans been cooking burgers. plus running 5-10k every morning for 4 months so getting fit plus eating mad slab.

    H8SGONH8

    - - - Updated - - -

    TL/DR

    brioche burger bun - waitrose / m&s
    creamy garlic aioli - morrisons ( yellow tub ) named - Chovi Allioli
    subtly smoked gruyere cheese.. or standard gruyere
    80/20 braising steak ground infront of your very eyes... ( cheap as fuarq too )
    season with freshly ground pepper / salt / and garlic powder
    slowly caramelized red onions in butter and oil.... treat like a virgin.

    exra points for sweet potato fries done properly using corn starch and fryer..

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2014