ok so i was at a rave this weekend. youd simply have to call it that, few things are so decidedly ravey as three day outdoor in gods green nature techno festivals with neon laser totem effigies, called solstice naturally, with aliens coming out of their squares with no straight angles in its blazing chemical luminance, and rain. rain, rain, rain, cold rain, less rain, but stil cold rain, then more rain, and fog, and cold, and mud, mud, mud, and what the fuck dude. im almost 78 years old, where the fk did i get off thinking this would be a good idea come from. actually, and in all fairness, of course it sounds like a good idea right? camping with all your mates, loud banging techno 24/7, binge drinking and a shit load of drugs, not to mention all the like minded beautiful people. hows that not a good idea! you see, yes, all this and more was there. but reality is usually little different than that. i arrived early on saturday, with an arsenal of booze and other naughty sorts that i realize now in hindsight was a bit of a mistake. yes. you know, you could actually say that for it. you could call it a mistake. shouldve known id blackout from pills, specially since i didnt sleep the night before, and all that drink, ffs. i have no idea who was playing. i identified an alice-d from a schedule on my way in, but thoguht it said "alice dj", and she was dutch, so i scoffed to myself, thinking these idiots actually had alice dj playing pop music from the 90s in some tent, but wasnt too worried, as we were closing in on the party and the bass was getting louder with every step closer, i love that feeling of walking up to the forrest rave and you know youre on the right way, cos the music is getting louder, starting with that monster bass. by then it started to rain, but it wasnt long before the acceptance of death was complete and we took our coats off. like people who freeze to death in the alps, theyre quite often found naked. the setting, as in where the whole thing took place, is a part of amsterdam thats been squatted, thats right, a whole part of town, they have annexed, taken over, imposed their own martial law (which, in a nutshell, is no laws, do what thy will shall be the whole of the law, only dont come and try and be one of us you fucking yuppie and respect whatever maniac illogical bullshit weve written on some weird old plank. seriously, most of their signs are so illogical it could be a medical study of some sort, like the one that says something about not being too loud and respecting people and its right next to an enormous blasting insanely loud techno), for the rest its an industrial office part with a port, starbucks main office and factory is there, for example. so amongst other things, i was passed out in the tent for a while that night, and spent the rest of my time there in various stages of combativeness, drowsiness, murderous rage, paranoia, frenzy, confusion, stupidity, vision ranging from impenetrable blur to razor sharp, head spinning either left or right, all the while with a bottle of dutch gin in my hand, swigging, so as to balance the whole thing out. alcohol does that for me, everyone was on a bit of everything, a lot of acid and bath salts, my crew had the good yay but we had to sort that before getting there, as squatters dont deal in things that cost money. its a world famous festival apparently, people come from all over to party out, i dont think the djs matter so much as the fact that you can rave in a church and everything is allowed. the last bit being the main attraction im sure. i think if you go, you should stay the full three days, pepople have to get a whole bunch of shit out of their system the first night, i think the second day is when you really want to be there, as people will be nice and loose by then. i met a guy an old girlfriend of mine ran off with. he was working in a pipe selling stall there. hey you, i said. he said hey and introduced himself with a handshake, he didnt even know who i was. pretty obvious if you think about it, complete and utter waster. talked to a girl in my tent for an hour who was really angry with me for talking to her. but why was she in my tent in that case you have to wonder. oh wait maybe it was her tent? all in all, evidently it was a good time, but i think ive either lost it and getting too old for that shit, or i have to commit deeper and do the whole nine instead of touristing it and thinking thatll suffice. and i dont remember a fucking thing neither. only flashes, which ive scribbled down here. i think i had a shocker actually. not sure, ill have to see what the lads say.