Hustlers Story (freestyle)

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by philski, Dec 16, 2008.

  1. philski

    philski smoke weed everyday

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2007
    Messages:
    2,044
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Birmingham city
    o.k i just got a bit bored n started writtin some lyrics then this lil story came into my head so i wrote a freestyle, took me bout half hour - 1 hour to write this, give me some feedback if like or dislike this shit. cheers.

    First things first i never was a felon,
    Only until i turned the age seven,
    Robbin shit outta shops until i was eleven,
    Then i got a bit worst cos i wernt down for beggin,
    Momma was a crack head and poppa was a sinner,
    Never had the time of day to sit and eat dinner,
    Had to fend for myself since i was a youngster,
    But fuck that trampy shit like eatin outta dumpsters,
    Had to make them numbers, started sellin crack,
    Started hustlin on the corner gettin all them stacks,
    With my friend jack we always made bundles,
    We were like lions in the concrete jungle,
    Fools on other corners started getting jealous,
    Cos the money we made to us was very precious,
    Brandishing their weapons, creeping on our patch,
    Firing shots at jack that ripped through his back,
    Suddenly i felt the feeling of torment and torture,
    Losing jack felt like a mother losing her only daughter,
    We were together from the start and we will be till the end,
    So i loaded up my pistol and headed down their ends,
    Talking to myself saying "im gonna kill these fuckers"
    Im gonna leave em fucked up like running outta rubbers,
    Their was no time now to sit down and ask questions,
    Saw the prick that shot him and unloaded my weapon,
    Ran over to his shaken body to shoot him in his face,
    When i pulled back his hood it made me feel disgraced,
    Why the fuck you do this your supposed to be my brother,
    when ur dead and buried what am i gonna tell mother.


    Ran outta shit to say after this. mind just went blank.
     
  2. NastyLimbCheat

    NastyLimbCheat Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2008
    Messages:
    1,837
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Bristol
    Now this is the story all about how
    My life got flipped, turned upside down
    And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
    I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air
    In West Philadelphia born and raised
    On the playground where I spent most of my days
    Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
    And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
    When a couple of guys said "we're up in no good"
    Started making trouble in my neighbourhood
    I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
    And said "you're moving with your aunt and uncle in Bel-Air"

    (Only the first three episodes of season one)
    I begged and pleaded with her the other day
    But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
    She gave me a kissin' and she gave me my ticket
    I put my walkman on and said I might as well kick it
    First class, yo this is bad,
    Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass
    Is this what the people of Bel-Air livin' like,
    Hmm this might be alright!

    I whistled for a cab and when it came near the
    License plate said "Fresh" and had a dice in the mirror
    If anything I could say that this cab was rare
    But I thought now forget it, yo home to Bel-Air
    I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
    And I yelled to the cabby "Yo, home smell you later"
    Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
    To settle my throne as the prince of Bel-Air
     
  3. Blurr

    Blurr Wasted Selection

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2007
    Messages:
    3,026
    Likes Received:
    3
  4. philski

    philski smoke weed everyday

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2007
    Messages:
    2,044
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Birmingham city
    u got any feedback?
     
  5. philski

    philski smoke weed everyday

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2007
    Messages:
    2,044
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Birmingham city
    yea it was supposed to be a sad story really but cheerz for the feed, love them battles, check out my smack dvd thread, fuckin quality battles. peace
     
  6. NastyLimbCheat

    NastyLimbCheat Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2008
    Messages:
    1,837
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Bristol
    you just got bell-aired son
     
  7. philski

    philski smoke weed everyday

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2007
    Messages:
    2,044
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Birmingham city
    yea whatever :carlton:
     
  8. philski

    philski smoke weed everyday

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2007
    Messages:
    2,044
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Birmingham city
    anyone else got any feedback for me, what yall think of mt little rap.
     
  9. perspective

    perspective Sex Drugs & Sausage Rolls

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,154
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Portsmouth, UK
    it's good man, i ran through it out loud and theres a few bits that need tweaking here and there but its got a good flow to it.

    ya should try recording it or something, i reckon it would sound good over some minimal dubsteppy type number, you might have the begginings of a tune there (y)
     
  10. *Chloe

    *Chloe Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2008
    Messages:
    3,140
    Likes Received:
    31
    :D
     
  11. Fratanize

    Fratanize Keepin the jungle alive

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2008
    Messages:
    2,140
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    PORTSMOUTH
    It has a nice fllow to it mate. Think the subject material has been rinsed tho.
    The whole surviving in the concrete jungle thing is a little done.
     
  12. philski

    philski smoke weed everyday

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2007
    Messages:
    2,044
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Birmingham city
    cheerz for the feed, im gonna put a beat to it, maybe a hip hop beat tho. then i'll make it better add a chorus n try make a track. i aint got the best rap voice tho.
     
  13. philski

    philski smoke weed everyday

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2007
    Messages:
    2,044
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Birmingham city
    yea theirs a few things to work on m8, maybe i'll scrap some of the lyrics and add some more complex lyrics to make it seem better. cheerz for your thoughts tho.
     
  14. disrupta

    disrupta Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2008
    Messages:
    190
    Likes Received:
    0
    I got flow and style like a lyrical genious
    i impregnate your mind like an E-wrecked penis
    leave you with a brain like an infomation fetus
    hittin the spot like an expectant clitorus.
     
  15. philski

    philski smoke weed everyday

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2007
    Messages:
    2,044
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Birmingham city
    haha nice punches