Humor me, I'm Merrican.

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by IV4, Feb 26, 2014.

  1. IV4

    IV4 Currently a newt.

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    So I am driving not so late at night, sober as a judge. When I see, a small dog's eyes reflecting my headlights. As per-custom in this scenario I start to flash my high beams and begin to honk my horn when I notice this dog looks like a deer. My mouth drops open and I never honk the horn in amazement of this…. midget deer. Now all of you must be thinking in an english accent, your are an American you want to shoot it. NO! I do not hunt or have any desire to. Any way what seems to me like a midget deer prances off in a scurry with a blink of an eye.
    I have seen a deer give birth in the wild, but even the one-minute old deer was twice the size of this. Is this my U.F.O. sighting, or my big foot/ chupacabra sighting? What kind of fucking story is this? I once saw the infamous midget deer, is there such a thing.
    Help poor old IV4 out, because this is not a story I want to admit to people I know but just happen ten minutes ago and I feel…..Strange.

    I googled midget deer and got these pictures.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
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  2. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Staff Member

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    Make a wish. Some cultures consider sighting the midget deer a tremendous force of fortune & good luck.
     
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  3. IV4

    IV4 Currently a newt.

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    World Peace! and a taco.
     
  4. Mania

    Mania i fukin wot m8

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    I'd wish for better exchange rates and bacon thats good for you.
     
  5. ThePapa

    ThePapa Suffragette City..

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  6. Sammy_Dodger

    Sammy_Dodger Mr Ed

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  7. Forau

    Forau CONCUSSION RECS

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    Someone do me a pigmy elephant. How cute would that shit be??

    Sent from your mums vag using Tapatalk.
     
  8. Sammy_Dodger

    Sammy_Dodger Mr Ed

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    Granted.

    [​IMG]
     
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  9. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Staff Member

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    It'd be awesome if you could get elephants that size. I bet they'd be little cunts though. Constantly goring all the walls in your home. Trunk toots at stupid o'clock in the morning. Dumps as big as your head. Stealing stuff from your kitchen counters and work tops. You could be prepping your tea one minute, then turn to see that trunky is brandishing the bread knife. Waving it around like they will shank you and couldn't give a shit about your personal safety or theirs.
     
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  10. Sammy_Dodger

    Sammy_Dodger Mr Ed

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    Id put armour on mine and ride around like that little munchkin on a dog in the film Labyrinth
     
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  11. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    your mind goes to dark and wondrous places. he needs to be reformed, kept away from society. he is a danger to others and himself and needs therapy. did you know gucci mane doesnt have a house and sleeps in his studio? and that hes not quite as gangsta as he made out to be? and needs medical attention according to flocka
    , theres a youtube when gucci spazzes on some randomer in the mall. speaking of reprobate elephants i mean. that elephant probably would have an ice cream cone tattooed in his face. remember that guy who tattooed pigs? he got to practice his tattooing and the pigs got swag, so win win really. but i never did see a tattooed elephant. i got this scar on my forearm its like 7cm long, completely straight and a reddish purple, the way scars get after they heal and the stitches come out. but it bothers me and i was thinking i could maybe do something with it, that red ink they have now, that is pretty rad, and it could be like incorporated into the tat somehow. just a simple design. but thats the question, what would you rather have, a straight scar, or a tattoo? which is better?

    tldr; whats more presentable, a scar or a tattoo over it
     
  12. IV4

    IV4 Currently a newt.

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    Hey Logickz
    I googled the white saying in your sig and I got this.
    smarted merk strap chemise. Wolf

    What the hell does it mean?
     
  13. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    i dont know if you remember, but adam did a game once, when you had to collect all the hidden bits from everyones sig in waffle, and it would combine into a message. i changed it to colombian chris rules but colombian chris is a fucking pathetic homeless parasitic talentless diseased liar that betrays and steals. so i changed into gibberish, only its in old norse and varg is a beautiful name do you not agree?

    also this guy i once knew he was from like acting school or whatever and one of the exercises they have to do is to speak in a made up language that you have to improvise and make up on the spot, and the technique behind it is fire, water, earth, air, (so as to make it easy for these morons, you have to make it easy because drama students, getting a degree in acting, will not be very capable or intelligent, they will not ever contribute to society or make anyones life better, very much the opposite, these people are being trained in making the world around them fucking miserable) all of which reprezent a specific group of phonetic sounds, so switch between the elements confidently and often enough and it will sound like you are speaking an actual language
     
  14. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Staff Member

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    Ah the forum scavenger hunt. That was a most excellent/shit game. Should do a follow up at some point!
     
  15. Dark Lizardro

    Dark Lizardro The Lizard that has a hammer Staff Member

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    Someone has gone too much into Burzum, I see.
     
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  16. Borf™

    Borf™ Borf

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    Pygmy is different from midget.

    Pygmys (and confusingly those called Dwarf) are species of animal like their full sized relatives but are genetically only ever meant to be that big.

    It's not a form of dwarfism like we have. Not sure if dwarfism is in other species. But these deers looks dwarfish as their limbs don't seem to be in proportion to their body.
     
  17. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    dwarves are not a species you mong it's a genetic abhorration. but it's funnily enough the only deformity that has been called one. Every other species is not something humans can be born as, elf troll orch vampire, nor is mongy bong, clump foot, diabetic, webbed feet, near sighted people considered species. you are probably thinking about miniature. which isn't a species, but it is a thing. very popular a few years ago. They are not alive however
     
  18. Borf™

    Borf™ Borf

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    I never said it was.

    But some animals called Dwarf, like Dwarf hippos, hamsters, geckos etc are actually seperate species and not a mutation of one. Now who's a mong?
     
  19. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    YOU ARE OF COURSE WRONG, BUT WHATEVER THE OUTCOME scientifically as in factually speaking it cant be me. right. its you, no way its me. never ever
     
  20. IV4

    IV4 Currently a newt.

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    How can a hamster be a dwarf? They are already as big as my hand. If they get any smaller they would be mouse size.

    Speaking of Pygmies and genetics. Some people are small, really really small.
    [​IMG]

    But not like this ^^^^^^
    Homo Floresiensis
    [​IMG]

    Yea that guy ^^ is like two feet tall and I think he is his own special breed of Human.