How would you fit into a monkeys society?

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by jmzmaloney, May 15, 2010.

  1. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    They have found you stranded in the Congo, naked. Though any escape attempts would make you known to be of different specie and have you immediately murdered by the alpha males. How would you fit into the community? What role would you take? Would you try to teach them your ways, though it may arrouse suspicion. Would you take it as far as to raise a family, and find a cure for Ebola when one of your sons is struck down? How long do you think it would take to learn the ways of a monkey? If death is at hand could anyone fit it where they shouldnt?
     
  2. Cat Gas

    Cat Gas Aka Basis

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    Earlier I had a pizza, and coated it with tabasco as all men should.
    Then afterwards I went to take a nice little pee. Unbeknown to me I still had tabasco over my fingers, and when I was done, as I was washing my hands I began to feel a slitch burning sensation on my penis.
    Only when I sat down did I feel the full pain of tabasco-scoulds on my dick. And it REALLY hurt.

    I didn't want to make a whole thread for this infomation, but I feel its wisdom that should be shared
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2010
  3. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    Should have raped someone, pain is better when shared

    ---------- Post added at 23:25 ---------- Previous post was at 23:23 ----------

    Hang on your a bloody liar, either you had a wank, or a fiery ass. Cmon spill the beans. Tell us what really happened on that day back in 1994
     
  4. Cat Gas

    Cat Gas Aka Basis

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    I say poo, I actually meant pee. Let me edit that.

    I didn't have a wank though, I was saving that for a bit later :teeth:
     
  5. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    Ah so your gunna edit it and make me look like the wanker, I've got my eye on you now, scallywag.
     
  6. Cat Gas

    Cat Gas Aka Basis

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    ...right.
    Anyway, to answer your first question!

    I would learn their language. Gain trust with their leaders and breed with their females.
    And in time, our differences would be set aside.
     
  7. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    i resist the realization that i am human because i am dismayed by the greed and destructiveness of those who invade the jungle.

    DON'T THINK YOU ARE......KNOW YOU ARE
     
  8. d.o.b

    d.o.b I've been naughty, I'm banned

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    Its easy for me coz I am ginger with very long hair & dreadlocks.... I would just chill out with my orangutan homies,getting high on Ayahuasca all day munching mango after mango.Family? Hell no! I hate hairy pussies... No need to learn monkey ways of living,I am already somewhat a monkey.... far behind you, homo sapiens sapiens guys,this explains why I listen so shitty music compared to you,more advanced form humanoids.
     
  9. st420

    st420 Member

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    I would use my powers of patience, and artificially inseminate one of the females, wait for her to give birth to my half ape half man humanoid, where i would then organize some sort of ape social, where all apes would gather and party like its 1984.

    I would then sneak my half ape half man humanoid away from his mother and began teaching the young'un my ways. After a couple of months, maybe even a year, my ape would be stronger than man, yet smarter than chimp. the ultimate fighting machine.

    we would then organise another bangin' ape social, where we would ambush them, with fire. while they are burning and screaming me and my ultimate apeman fighter would take each and every one of the bastards out.

    I would then probaly have to eat the apes children for sustenance . once me and my apeman are fed and rested, we would begin building a new society. this society would be the grandest society apes and man had ever seen. and i would rule.

    the end
     
  10. Indi

    Indi Tha Original ThreadKilla!

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    I'd teach them how to make fire, gain their trust, integrate into their society, learn their language, and carefully explain to them how pointless this thread was.
     
  11. greddie

    greddie Super Sir Loin

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    well me and the monkeys are like this
    [​IMG]
    so we'd have no problems. at first it might be a bit hard, and the younger ones would look at me funny and the woman would love me, but wouldnt be able to work out why they didnt find me completely irresistible, i mean i have the personality down and i act like a monkey, but what they can't figure out is that i am not covered head to toe in hair, so thats why they dont get to overexcited and started flinging their faeces at me. the male monkeys are fine with me tho and they let me into their society, but when they offer me their woman i have to pretend i am ill or something so as not to arouse suspicion. i'd start by just observing the monkeys so i could learn the way to move and act then i would sit and shit myself a bit before gradually starting to help them build and make things. everything would go fine untill 3 years down the line when the mind has shiffted and i am thinking in monkey and i get drunk with the monkeys and start an argument with a monkey who mistakenly thought i was going to tag team his wife monkey with his brother monkey, so this fight gets out of hand and i kill the monkey with a blunt tool made from the bones of a lion. anyway i have to hid the body, and one of the kids finds it whilst playing catch the poo and questions start being asked, and the forensics monkeys get to work, so i think its best i run away and hide, but thinking like a monkey i dont know where to go and i get lost and end up cold in the jungle alone..... slowly..... wishing.....id never gone to live with the monkeys
     
  12. Radius

    Radius Give me back my passport u slags

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    ---------- Post added at 12:47 ---------- Previous post was at 11:13 ----------

    [​IMG]
     
  13. damnjungle

    damnjungle New Member

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    i'd wipe tabasco on some monkey dick an get the hell outa ther
     
  14. Cat Gas

    Cat Gas Aka Basis

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    ting tang walla walla bing bang
     
  15. Radius

    Radius Give me back my passport u slags

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    that ain't monkey language thats your favourite song
     
  16. groelle

    groelle Well-Known Member

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  17. Radius

    Radius Give me back my passport u slags

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