How would you fit into a Circus of Freaks?

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by jmzmaloney, May 8, 2011.

  1. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    What do you have of value to bring in the most profit for the circus? What would your act entail? Where do you see the circus in 5 years?

    After the obvious failings of the Pirate/Raid Bransons Island Project and the Interplannetary Space Expeditions Project, maybe we should try the first dnb forum Circus of Freaks.

    For me I have unusually sweaty palms at the moment, I'll be attached to some kind of rope device and slide round the tent for the duration of the show, slowly at first, then at 40mph at the climax.

    Time to indulge me.
     
  2. rysk

    rysk Part-time waster

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    i have a webbed toe:miss_rep:
     
  3. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    Is that all you have to offer. Here people look at my webbed toe, not exactly gunna bring in the punters is it. Something tells me youve been doing this all your life, boring people with the webbed toe. My mate has 6 nipples, they dont do anything, so once youve seen the once the comedy factor goes away. We need loyal supporters, people that return for life, its all about the cash baby.

    You my son are out.
     
  4. TetraEleven

    TetraEleven Producer/Idiot Savant

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    Braiding my pubes so that I just have one super long pube pony tail.
     
  5. rysk

    rysk Part-time waster

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    did i not mention, it does a little dance when the words 'captain pepperoni' are mentioned
     
  6. knucklez

    knucklez Member

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    i have one testicle. ill shave it as smooth as an egg, do headstands and draw a face on it with a little judges wig on top. charge £3 a kiss. everyone dreams of kissing a judge.
     
  7. mr karnage

    mr karnage deep inside the jungle

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    metal plate in my face

    COME AT ME BRO
     
  8. Ozmatic

    Ozmatic Chair of the Nitty Gritty Committee

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    My ability is I cannot be papercut. My act would include me being stabbed by cardboard swords and paper-maiche blades while being chained in newspaper. We could turn it into a full theatrical performance where I slay fearsome monsters such as those cranes made of paper and ninjas that use cardboard shurikens. Audience members could have a go cutting me between my fingers and watch in awe as it draws no blood. That is a class act to have, and no circus worth it's weight in false hands should be without one
     
  9. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    OK your both in, I'm thinking of some sort of double act. Knuklez will be on a swing and we'll be swinging your ball at Karnage's Metal Faces at ever increasing distances and speeds. See which will give way first.
     
  10. Controller

    Controller (╯'□')╯︵ ┻━┻

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    My eyebrows are like mary poppins bag.
     
  11. mr karnage

    mr karnage deep inside the jungle

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  12. knucklez

    knucklez Member

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    hey karnage. it had better be a hard type of metal in your face. cus i got balls of steel.
     
    Last edited: May 8, 2011
  13. herojuana

    herojuana hairy kuala

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    I have the uncanny ability to look just like Josef.

    People really want to see that, and if they pay more I will perform my hit single, under the floor:

     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 12, 2015
  14. Controller

    Controller (╯'□')╯︵ ┻━┻

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    lol that video is fucked up
     
  15. Toejam

    Toejam OOOBEY DOOBEY

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    Maybe something involving Velcro, a Velcro tongue, maybe perform oral on an overly hairy biotch and try and wrestle my way out of her 'clunge of doom' whilst being pelted with chicken nuggets fired from a cannon manned by John Virgo

    Or maybe knit bacon to the sound of violins and do something else
     
  16. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    I got these little white lumps around the rim of my bellend & my cum smells really funky, every now & again, the skin on my glans goes leathery & peels, like a snake.

    I have a patch of skin on my belly with no pigment, so it can't tan, my mrs calls it the "leukemia patch".

    I'm also allergic to Cucumber.

    I offer myself as a raw unkempt talent at your disposal, my only hope is that my array of freaky health issues can finally be utilised to do some good...
     
  17. SIRUS

    SIRUS 変なひと

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    mind rape clown.

    i will reveal peoples inner most deviant secrets, with a painted smile to hide my disgust.
     
  18. Kobi

    Kobi Member

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    could take ket constantly for a few months and become a mess that people could laugh at