Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Catsel, Jun 1, 2015.
that you fancy her daughter?
Oh hai mum, I haz anal with ur baby.
proof is in the pudding bodo, when i was 16 i had this model chick gf, from the islands where there is something in the water, and instead of a school bus, they have to take a... boat. like a ferry, but in the winters it was more of a floating bus, which might not seem so bad but for a landlubber like me, seeing those enormous frothy green waves in the winter months, it was scary as fuck, but these dragon children (they go by that moniker as those islands have the most hours of sunlight in the nordic countries for some reason, also, they are all blonde, blue eyed, drop dead goregeous, and family, which means theyre a big bubbling cess pool of incestual relations) anyway, her father was the captain of a supertanker, you know that boat that transports gillion tons of fuel or whatever the fuck accross the oceans, so i didnt meet him until like six months, during which i had colonized his home, boned the living daylights out of his darling girl, got the sister and cousins to worship the land i walked on and bake me damn cookies, and the mother cook food. breakfast. lunch. dinner. whatever the fuck.
so when he comes home, he meets me splayed on the bed, wearing nothing but boxers and his daughter massive tits, haha hell, i didnt even get up and shake his hand. needless to say, he walked downstairs, and exploded on the last step. thats how long it took mr sea captain to realize the severity of the situation.
but thats what its like to stay away for nine months a year. your home isnt your home when you live like that, and your return is not that of ulysses at ithaqua. but thats beside the point, my point is, thats how you do it, the proof is in the pudding, just make sure the mother sees you bone her daughter, from start to finish. thatll make shit abundantly clear. right!
ask her out. take her to dinner. then take her to a motel/hotel and while banging her tell: "Ohhhhh... now i know why your daugther felt so good!"
ken park! ken park it, goddamn it!
this one time when i almost died from GHB overdose, back in 1999, i had spent like 8 hours barfing on the floors, pissing on myself in my coma, etc, when i finally came to, and got my bearings up well enough to move, this corpse pale apparition with black sunken eyes skulking the streets (cos instead of going home or to the hospital which is the normal respnsoe when you almost fking die, i was of course off to a mates house to smoke me a pipe and bone this tiny girl i liked) i hear a voice calling my name, in the street. i look around and its dark outside, and there is this girl, this hot little number calling my name. now, i didnt remember peoples names much at all back then, but half of the time i pretended not to remember people,( my memory for faces has always been quite extraordinary, more so than id like really) but this time i can honestly say id never seen this person ever before in my life, and it turns out to be the little cousin of the model chick from back when i was 16. she had never forgot and had now found me and was ready for freddy. she was going the whole nine yards with the "come with us to this party where its just you and me" and shit like that.
it was so leftfield and unexpected, coupled with the fact i just almost died and i was going to bone this other chick anyway i just mumbled at her and skulked off like a wounded elk in the distance. REPREZENT
I think your mother will understand. Didn't she marry your uncle?
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