How to swoon a Lithuanian bint

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Toejam, Jan 24, 2012.

  1. Toejam

    Toejam OOOBEY DOOBEY

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2007
    Messages:
    4,682
    Likes Received:
    361
    Location:
    Ipswich
    On my daily stroll to work i pass this girl, she's worth at least a spurt WREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY LADS BANTER

    But i digress, i found out she's lithuanian, how do i tempt such a bint to my weak life, shall i offer coal as a peace offering? maybe throw potatoes at her as a sign of love and eternity, how do these eastern bints work, i have no idea, I will fully take on your ideas and thrust them upon her, gods honest truth x
     
    jmzmaloney likes this.
  2. ZackMRG

    ZackMRG Circles are Pointless

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2008
    Messages:
    1,715
    Likes Received:
    70
    Location:
    Halesowen, UK
    In soviet russia, girl swoon you.
     
  3. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2008
    Messages:
    11,151
    Likes Received:
    2,585
    Location:
    KARLS TLACK BWAT
    Well crafted facial hair, and an outdated fin haircut. Neck a bottle of Vodka in front of her face and in no way reveal any of the effects. Plus your gunna have to beat the shit out of someone, they love that, you could look like an apes asshole, as long as you beat the shit out of everything in site youll be fine.
     
  4. herojuana

    herojuana hairy kuala

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2009
    Messages:
    5,594
    Likes Received:
    948
    Location:
    London/Sheffield
    they eat carp for christmas dinner, so it is really the height of politeness to tell them they have a fishy fanny. preferably carp, but I believe most fish is seen as a compliment. Not the vampire fish though, don't be mistaken. Nobody wants to be told they have a vampire vag

    good luck. post pics of how it goes
     
  5. dnbkingz

    dnbkingz bollocks

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2009
    Messages:
    4,767
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    Somewhere
    thread needs more epic bants imo.
     
  6. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2003
    Messages:
    18,688
    Likes Received:
    1,915
    Location:
    Watford
    WEHEY! ROOOONEY! ROOOONEY! SHERLAD HOLMES!
     
  7. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,556
    Likes Received:
    2,520
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com

    theres a sweet spot there, thats the good part, see you can start with inanimate objects. protect her from walls, lamps, buses, parked cars etc. give anything and everything a good kicking. shout strictly consonants to make her feel at home.

    the bottle of vodka should hang from your neck too. thats your pendant. hint at terrible health, tax evasion and money that is so temporary and unsecured its like it will evaporate if she doesnt act now and come and clean fish in your house with her ass out. she will have several kids and look good in that pink thong under the adidas trackie bottoms (trendy for small time crook chicks, not chav)
     
  8. jimjimjim

    jimjimjim oldskool

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2009
    Messages:
    2,041
    Likes Received:
    218
    Location:
    Slough UK
    make sure you wear your best shell-suit. eastern birds like that
     
  9. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2008
    Messages:
    8,771
    Likes Received:
    1,792
    Location:
    STN
    offer her the complete set of garfield anthologies.
    it is my understanding that lithuanian's hate nermal, you will both have a common enemy to build a strong relationship upon.
     
  10. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,556
    Likes Received:
    2,520
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com
    but you may not base a relationship on either parties insecurity or need for help as this will cause an unbalance and as soon as this is overcome that party will have no further need for the relationship and leave the other party, probably to a party.
     
  11. RocksteadyUK

    RocksteadyUK SkimoBeats

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2007
    Messages:
    7,753
    Likes Received:
    198
    Location:
    Peckham
    I say you just rock out with your cock out... see what happens
     
  12. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2008
    Messages:
    7,410
    Likes Received:
    360
    Location:
    Portsmouth
    shell suit was a good call

    [​IMG]
     
  13. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,556
    Likes Received:
    2,520
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com
    tattoo all manners of major brand logos, get bacardi, montisse, virgin, klm, island records, walkers, hersheys, this will give the impression you are corporate and very much the type to blame a sexual harassment complaint on the employee herself. this is an indication of power, as is a short life span. in fact, speak only in eulogy. about your sisters that died in the belly of a whale. ring the churchbells, and sing on the top of your lungs. wear birch branches, long necked and thin. command the bottle, make clear your thirst exceeds anything.
     
  14. jimjimjim

    jimjimjim oldskool

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2009
    Messages:
    2,041
    Likes Received:
    218
    Location:
    Slough UK
    offer her the testicles of a goat or some other animal - eastern euros are big on that.
    also i hear they like wife beating so maybe you should just falcon punch her in the gob and drag her into your transit van?
     
  15. Agent Smith

    Agent Smith Currently Putins Koala

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2010
    Messages:
    3,895
    Likes Received:
    564
    Location:
    West London
    kebabs, beetroot soup & potatoe pancakes.

    all you need for said swooning.
     
  16. hyperd4eva

    hyperd4eva H&M SCARVES

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2008
    Messages:
    7,483
    Likes Received:
    463
    tell her you will pay her 3 pound an hour to clean your house? then rape?
     
  17. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2008
    Messages:
    11,151
    Likes Received:
    2,585
    Location:
    KARLS TLACK BWAT
    Other way round, rape her then get her to clean the house, if she does a good job youve pulled.
     
  18. ApeCat

    ApeCat Human Dubplate

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2010
    Messages:
    2,934
    Likes Received:
    134
    Location:
    Oslo, Norway
    Okay so this is the Lithuanian flag..

    [​IMG]

    It's sort of like a sad washed out rag of an old "rasta" wall decoration fabric thing if you stick a black ganja leaf on there,.. What does this tell us of Lithuaninan culture? This is important; a flag says a lot about a country's culture. Take the Norwegian flag; we took the Danish flag and put another bit in it because we're sort of like the Danish, only better so. We're nothing at all like the Swedes mind you.

    Well let us get back to that later; the Lithuaninan coat of arms is a dude on a white horse - quite literally a knight in shining armour - on a contrasting bright red background. What can this tell us about Lithuaninan principles of chivalry, honour and sliming your way into girls' panties on your way to work?

    Lithuania is a Blatic country and the top three search results for "Baltic" on your Google read #3: Baltic ocean, #2 Baltic Centre for Contemporary Art and smashing it at #1 we've got www.single-baltic-lady.com

    Assuming she's held on to her cultural heritage we can safely assume that she's single, is more than average down with contemporary art and that she's a somewhat aquatic person with an affinity specially for brackish water.

    I hope these pointers have been helpful and that you get lots of Middle-Eastern-European poon which should be as smooth as the Lithuanian plains - and those had all their wrinkles and irregularities terminated by a fucking glacier during the last Ice Age yagetme?!

    Good luck and godspeed!!
     
  19. ONSLAUGHT88

    ONSLAUGHT88 I sees ya I do I sees ya

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2010
    Messages:
    4,925
    Likes Received:
    98
    Location:
    The Northernmost Point of Kent, UK
    Offer to pack her fruit
     
  20. Kenneth4Eva

    Kenneth4Eva Let's Breed

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2010
    Messages:
    5,144
    Likes Received:
    318
    Location:
    scotland
    The charging knight is known to have been first used as the state emblem in 1366. It is featured on the seal of the Grand Duke of Lithuania, Algirdas, which marks a document belonging to that year. The old prototype of the present Vytis depicts a knight on horseback holding a sword in his raised hand. The symbol of the charging knight on horseback was handed down through the generations: from Algirdas to his son, Grand Duke Jogaila, then to Grand Duke Vytautas and others. By the 14th century, the charging knight on horseback with a sword had begun to be featured in a heraldic shield, first in Jogaila's seal in 1386 or 1387, and also in the seal of Vytautas in 1401. As early as the 15th century, the heraldic charging knight on horseback became the coat of arms of the Grand Duchy of Lithuania and of its central part - the Duchy of Vilnius. 16th century documents refer to it as Vytis (it is believed that the word Vytis was used in the 15th century). At first, the charging knight was depicted riding in one or the other direction and sometime held a lance. But as of the first half of the 15th century, he is always shown riding to the left (as see by the viewer) with a sword in his raised hand and a shield in the left hand.