how do you get a chick to leave in the morning...

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Barnzee, Feb 25, 2009.

  1. Barnzee

    Barnzee OmniaInNumerisSitaSunt

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2007
    Messages:
    1,076
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Milton Keynes/ York university
    whats your best tactic for getting a bird to leave in the morning after you slept with her, woke up and realised she ent all that when you arent drunk?

    other day, i text my mate, got him to knock on my door and make up some excuse as to why i have to go out quick time... so he knocks on my door, walks in and says 'dude we have to go to the travel agents remember?'... the fucking travel agents? the bitch bought it though, and i swiftly apologised but said she had to leave cus i had to get ready quick and go to town.

    how you turf em' out?
     
  2. YOUNG TUNA

    YOUNG TUNA IT'S ME BITCHES

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2006
    Messages:
    3,417
    Likes Received:
    38
    Location:
    Helsinki
    i tell em there's a mirror in the elevator
     
  3. mansell

    mansell husk basically*

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    3,594
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    West Sussex
    I have horses... so perfect excuse!
     
  4. BoudiCat

    BoudiCat SERIAY.

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2008
    Messages:
    5,933
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    your face.
    Are you outing yourself Marnie? :teeth:
     
  5. mansell

    mansell husk basically*

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    3,594
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    West Sussex
    Hmmm lets see how I can get round this one...
    I was merely stating how I get a bloke to leave.
    Convincing, no?!
     
  6. BoudiCat

    BoudiCat SERIAY.

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2008
    Messages:
    5,933
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    your face.
    He he :clown:
     
  7. mansell

    mansell husk basically*

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    3,594
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    West Sussex
  8. DJ NUERA

    DJ NUERA 5HEAD

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2008
    Messages:
    6,531
    Likes Received:
    168
    Location:
    CRANIUM
    I just piss the bed, that way I dont even have to ask her to leave

    :clown:
     
  9. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,556
    Likes Received:
    2,520
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com
    shell be straight gone long before morning for any number of reasons, the minute those doors close and her clothes come off my whole agenda change my face even change i turn into an asshole man after im trhough defiling her i move on to getting my swerve on and get skied and high and all types of shit again, i clown that bitch so hard shed be happy to even get her glasses on before shes careening towards the wilderness
     
  10. DJ SamWise

    DJ SamWise Gurnhead

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2009
    Messages:
    222
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    i make sure she wakes up to the sight of me holdin a bludstained nife, laughing insanely to my self
    bitch left pretty quick xD
     
  11. clayasaurus

    clayasaurus wintermute

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2008
    Messages:
    124
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    wake her with the cuffs and whips and ask ready for round 2

    if you get even further unlucky well now you have the thing cuffed and you can whip it and shit until it leaves on its own
     
  12. DJHaze

    DJHaze I've been naughty, I'm banned

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,548
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Birmingham
    haah at some of these.

    sort of similar this is but i found myself awoken at some random birds house last sunday morning after giving her a good seeing too. she was in the front room when i woke up and i was still in the bed. i contemplated getting ready and just running out the door without speaking to her ( i didnt even need to see her in the morning ) instead i just walked into the living room and was like. yer im going to the shop i need a bottle of irn bru. that was the first thing that came into my head. and she was like oo get me a packet of chocolate hob nobs. so she gave me like 1 pound summit. FUCK WAS I GOING BACK. used her money to ring a taxi and did one.
     
  13. djhektikz

    djhektikz Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2007
    Messages:
    2,735
    Likes Received:
    2
    if its an ugly bird she may get a glass of water and has leave by 7! if shes fit which never really happens! a glass of water a fag and a lift home after 7!
     
  14. RocksteadyUK

    RocksteadyUK SkimoBeats

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2007
    Messages:
    7,753
    Likes Received:
    198
    Location:
    Peckham
    hahah!! ive been in this situation a few times...

    best option is to point out how rough she looks... DEADLY!! she'll be gone within the next 30min or so... but... say it like a joke... "you looked gorgeous last night....." wait for her to say thanks.... then... "are feeling ok?? you look quite rough this morning, what happened???"

    guarenteed exit....
     
  15. KEMZ

    KEMZ Blatant Royal Status

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    1,249
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    Just flick £20 at her and tell her thanks, then rock downstairs as get up to make a tea for yourself. she'll feel silly and cheap and leave immediatley unless she does sell herself for real, then you might have an early morning haggle on your hands bro
     
  16. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,556
    Likes Received:
    2,520
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com
    haha brilliant, or you could piss in the used condom and throw it at her
     
  17. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2008
    Messages:
    11,151
    Likes Received:
    2,585
    Location:
    KARLS TLACK BWAT
    1. Put on some jump up.
    2. Log onto the forum all the pictures of Black Homo will make her think youre a fag.
    3. Shove a big dildo up her arse when shes sleeping.
    4. Horse head in the bed.
    5. Big dildo up your own arse.
     
  18. RocksteadyUK

    RocksteadyUK SkimoBeats

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2007
    Messages:
    7,753
    Likes Received:
    198
    Location:
    Peckham
    yeh but you missed out a vital part of this...

    "what.... what the fuck.... what is this..... why is my cock green??.... you fukin bitch.... give me my £20 back... NOW!!! your fukin diseased..... FAT BITCH!! YEH THATS RIGHT!!! I SAID IT!!! YOU.... ARE.... A..... FAT.... DISEASED... BITCH!!..... WHERES MY PILLS!!??? GET ME MY FUKIN PILLS!!! DONT JUST STAND THERE MISS DIRTY FANNY!!! FIND THEM!!!"
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2009
  19. Gumby

    Gumby New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2006
    Messages:
    6,208
    Likes Received:
    10
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAahhahahahaha oh god logikz stop it :rofl: my cheeks are starting to hurt from giggling :lol:
     
  20. Gumby

    Gumby New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2006
    Messages:
    6,208
    Likes Received:
    10

    lol rocksteady, deceased or diseased?
    the word changes the meaning of your story substantially lol