How did you drown out the sound of your parents boning?

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by jmzmaloney, Aug 2, 2010.

  1. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    Or did you listen intently and fap.
     
  2. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    i never heard this ... but ... when i was 15-16 i used to take loads of e's, and me and mates used to quietly creep thru the house, open the back door, and go into my garage, put on some music, play pool, sit in sun loungers, and smoke shotties.. anyway, it was a friday night , about 1am .. creeping thru the kitchen, and we flicked the light on .. and erm .. yea.. in the dark .. there was bad tings agwarn ! .. also saw my borther fapping in the kitchen over a porno, elbow on the kitchen table, jeans round his ankles, beating away.. we were all in the garage and he didnt know .. we were so stoned it was the funniest thing ever
     
  3. Toejam

    Toejam OOOBEY DOOBEY

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    I used to sneak into the room like a ninja and jizz on my dads back, freaked him out everytime
     
  4. DJ Spliff

    DJ Spliff Never Enuff Vinyl

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    [​IMG]
    I would typically pull onna these.

















































    Then I would pull onna these
    [​IMG]
     
  5. Joey AdhD

    Joey AdhD sweaty scouser

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    fuck fappin, get involved. its the only way...then there is less embarressment come the morning.
     
  6. Original Nuttah

    Original Nuttah They Call My Dad Machete

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    Luckily i never heard this. But that was because my parents split up when i was young.
     
  7. Gumby

    Gumby New Member

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    but everyone knows that parents dont have sex.
    mustve been your seedy imagination jmz.
     
  8. dnbkingz

    dnbkingz bollocks

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    A woman's pleasure zone is covered over in concrete after the birth of a child.

    It is then upto the couple to apply for a 'congical uncovering'.

    Essentially, for someone in a high vis jacket to go hammer and tong at your mrs' poon with a jackhammer until the covering is worn away enough for you to have relations.


    It is then covered up again until you and your partner decide to apply for another 'congical uncovering'. Usually after the child's 16th birthday. Purely because the waiting lists are just thuper looooong.


    Anyway. Teach this to your children. As it will make them aware of the depressing state of events they have in store for them in adulthood.
     
  9. JDymond

    JDymond New Member

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    Never heard my own parents although i did hear my ex girlfriends parents having sex once kinda sucked cos her mum is a super milf
     
  10. Gumby

    Gumby New Member

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    i walked in on my sister getting boned. they didnt notice me though. so i went into the kitchen and started clanging spoons and cups about. she shat herself cos she thought mum/dad had come home early. was fucking hilarious.
     
  11. greddie

    greddie Super Sir Loin

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    used to bone harder and louder
     
  12. Kenneth4Eva

    Kenneth4Eva Let's Breed

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    is your sister hot?
     
  13. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    a steady creaking from the master bedroom round the stroke of midnight. id sit and read in my bed (ufo bookes, edgar allen poe, hp lovecraft, sherlock holmes and mysteries of the world) and i could never quite figure it out. it happened a lot for a few years. and then it wnet away before id figured it out, which is odd considering i was in my sexual prime around eleven years old. im really glad i listened to what my spine told me instead of going to find out what that sound was. i think that sound is programmed deep in our dna, the same way anyone of any age will freeze up at the sound of a low growl in the darkness, regardless of wether theyve seen a tiger or not in their life.
     
  14. Borf™

    Borf™ Borf

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    Just shout sex noices back at them twice as loud.

    Either they'll take the hint or your neighbours will think your hollowing some slag out.
     
  15. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    id play guitar to the noise. i was told never to play that late again, which i ignored and did anyway, because, they couldnt hear me anyway i reasoned.
    i know now it was because it put them off their stroke and tbh id rather not think this much about it again. ever.
     
  16. Osime

    Osime Official Japanese Student

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    Never heard it... maybe my dad wasn't laying it down hard enough.
     
  17. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    Unfotunately i've never had the pleasure, rooms have always been at opposite ends of houses, plus I lived away from home for most of my late teen to late 20s...

    Shame really, I would to have love to have heard dear Mother grunting like a rabid Oxen on Beta Blockers.
     
  18. herojuana

    herojuana hairy kuala

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    i can make a recording if you want? :teeth:
     
  19. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    I don't have a Mum Samuel, me & my Dad share yours.
     
  20. herojuana

    herojuana hairy kuala

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    Makes sense, there is enough to go round