Gamble on a fart...

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Fes Rock, Feb 23, 2009.

  1. Fes Rock

    Fes Rock Nothing..........

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    U WOT M8?
    A craigslist posting


    To the woman that crapped in my car. (NE Portland)

    We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that
    it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have
    ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

    I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of
    Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there
    was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and
    looked
    forward to further conversation with you.

    At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just
    happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please
    don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the
    note
    that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be
    funny, not offensive.

    I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I
    did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my
    uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95%
    of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why
    they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping
    your
    pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other
    hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on
    a
    heated leather seat...

    What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be
    more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is
    high
    in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

    I await your call,
    Stout
    P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early.Touché.
     
  2. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    So many fine quotes.
     
  3. Datt Male

    Datt Male Active Member

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  4. SIRUS

    SIRUS 変なひと

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    "P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early.Touché."


    ha ha ha, the ultimate escape plan.
     
  5. Lunos

    Lunos Active Member

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    big up Fes
     
  6. Dan M

    Dan M hard gay northern bear

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    gordo knows bout bitches shitting themselves maybe this guy needs some pointers from the wise man
     
  7. tone090

    tone090 Bare back rider!

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    thats funny as fuck
     
  8. Nutek

    Nutek movement junglist

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    haha nice find