Funny Stuff Part Deux

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Ab0|2Ti0N, Aug 27, 2004.

  1. Ab0|2Ti0N

    Ab0|2Ti0N WHAT THE FUCK IS JUICE???

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    you know you're a junglist when......

    -You snicker when you hear someone say "PLUR".
    -You finally realized that phat pants are heavy and unpractical.
    -You refrain from dancing unless the circle is of rather large dimensions.
    -When you do dance, you "battle".
    -You learn to spin, and therefore have graduated to the "superior junglist status".
    -You find out just how crooked promoters really are.
    -You hate massives.
    -You blame candy kids for everything retarded in the scene.
    -You say "the scene" a lot.
    -You find out how much better European electronic music really is.
    -You find out that glow sticks were cool TEN years ago in the UK.
    -You have pretended to be rolling at a party just to get a quick laugh out of your friends.
    -When you ARE on E, you do your best to act normal.
    -You realize how cool Drum n' Bass is.
    -You realize how lame progressive trance is.
    -You find out that American DJ's are completely overrated.
    -You have close friends who don't give a f**k about raving.
    -You think that maybe YOU don't really give a f**k either.
    -The smell of Vicks makes you physically sick.
    -You can't help but laugh when someone tries to give you a "glow stick show".
    -You learn to break.
    -If you want to actually "roll," you have to eat about four pills at once.
    -You can get those four pills for the same price that everyone else pays for one.
    -You drink beer at after parties.
    -You quit collecting fliers.
    -You have unsubscribe from your drum n bass mailing list, because "none of those f**king little kids understand a thing about jungle, dammit!"
    -You can't remember the last time you went to a party and didn't think it sucked.
    -You can't remember much in general.
    -You realize that junglists aren't nearly as genuine as the hippies were.
    -You wouldn't mind if that kid with the whistle accidentally swallowed it and died.
    -You are actually called by your real name.
    -You realize that the general public shouldn’t be blamed for hating drum n bass.
    -You think ECKO is the sickest gear money can buy.
    -You talk s**t as much as possible.
    -You value things in terms of vinyl, (ex: "that's an eight record pair of pants.")
    -You DESPISE Happy Hardcore.
    -You DESPISE candy.
    -You have seen a thirteen year old "raver" on ecstasy and felt like leaving the party because of it.
    -You know what a 303 is.
    -You no longer feel the need to advertise your "junglist-ness" to the world.
    -You realize shell toes are s**tty shoes.
    -You can't count how many pairs you have owned.
    -You know that post-rave sex is awful.
    -You've punked kids who tried to get in a circle that was out of their league.
    -You can determine where a junglist is from just by the way they dance.
    -You know that LA junglist can't dance worth a s**t.
    -You find out that underground parties still happen quite frequently, despite what 98% of the raving populous thinks.
    -You party sober and now understand how stupid you looked when you didn't.
    -You know who PRODUCED your favorite tracks, not just which DJ bought it and put it on a mix CD.
    -You read URB.
    -You have day-dreams that involve the Telletubies and a large rusty chainsaw.
    -Your parents gave up on you becoming normal a long, long time ago.
    -You understand electro and minimal techno now.
    -You hate drum n bass ho's.
    -You could out-dance any boy band, any day, while smoking a cigarette.
    -You begin to notice how often big DJ's blow mixes.
    -You think sweaty guys who run around the party shirtless should get thrown out.
    -You act like a punk-ass bitch to security, police, and any other authority.
    -You purposely wear way too much clothing to parties, because you know that dancing in a turtleneck sweater looks f**king ill.
    -You say "ill" a lot.
    -You have replaced Caffiene, JNCO, and Adidas with Technic, Vestax, and JBL.
    -You know that drum n bass is all about the music, but junglists are not.
    -You find the jungle room much more appealing now.
    -You can actually dance to jungle.
    -You hate Feelgood and Coolworld.
    -You laugh out loud when you walk into Jamba Juice and they're playing dance music.
    -You see guys from your high school football team at a party.
    -You know jungle is mainstream as f**k.
    -The bigger the flier, the less you want to go to the party.
    -You can re-tell the story of how jungle came to America quite accurately.
    -You hate Anthem tracks.
    -Your sleeping, and eating habits are completely f**ked up.
    -You sit around with friends and tell old "jungle disaster" stories.
    -You are amazed that you are somehow still alive.
     
  2. Ab0|2Ti0N

    Ab0|2Ti0N WHAT THE FUCK IS JUICE???

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    2004 Revised: Courtesy of Benjie/bnj (www.junglescene.com)


    -You snicker when you hear someone say "PLUR".
    shoud be:
    -You snicker when you hear someone say "PAY TO GET IN".

    -You refrain from dancing unless the circle is of rather large dimensions.
    should be:
    -You refrain from dancing unless you are drunk.

    -You learn to spin, and therefore have graduated to the "superior junglist status".
    should be:
    -You learn to spin, and therefore have graduated to the "i dont buy at record stores anymore, i get stuff online"status.

    -You find out just how crooked promoters really are.
    should be:
    -you become a promoter.

    -You hate massives.
    should be:
    -You hate everything.

    -You say "the scene" a lot.
    should be:
    -You say "ill JSM you on junglescene" a lot.

    -You have pretended to be rolling at a party just to get a quick laugh out of your friends.
    should be:
    -You have pretended to not be schmoozing at a party just to get a quick laugh out of your friends.

    -You realize how cool Drum n' Bass is.
    should be:
    -You realize how cool Drum n' Bass is when youre drunk.

    -You realize how lame progressive trance is.
    should be:
    -You realize how lame progressive trance is, yet think the new tune that completely used the same riff from a trance song and just added drums at 175 bpm is some next level s**t.

    -You find out that American DJ's are completely overrated.
    should be:
    -You find out that DJ's are completely overrated.

    -You have close friends who don't give a f**k about raving.
    should be:
    -You have close friends who don't give a f**k about enjoying dnb, you just wanna see your pictures on the internet.

    -The smell of Vicks makes you physically sick.
    should be:
    -The smell of a warehouse makes you physically sick.

    -You can't help but laugh when someone tries to give you a "glow stick show".
    should be:
    -You can't help but laugh when someone tries to throw a party without flying someone in.

    -You learn to break.
    should be:
    -You think you know how to break.

    -You drink beer at after parties.
    should be:
    -You have mixed drinks at parties.

    -You quit collecting fliers.
    should be:
    -You quit getting promoters e mails.

    -You are actually called by your real name.
    should be:
    -You are actually called by your screen or dj name.

    -You think ECKO is the sickest gear money can buy.
    should be:
    -You think diesel is the sickest gear money can buy.

    -You talk s**t as much as possible.
    should be:
    -You talk s**t as much as possible on the internet.

    -You value things in terms of vinyl, (ex: "that's an eight record pair of pants.")
    should be:
    -You got it on mp3 or cd-r, no longer applicable.

    -You know what a 303 is.
    should be:
    -You know what final scratch is.

    -You know that post-rave sex is awful.
    should be:
    -You know that post-rave sex is awful, so you moved onto message board sex.

    -You've punked kids who tried to get in a circle that was out of their league.
    should be:
    -You've talked about punking kids who tried to get in a circle that was out of their league, from the safety of your computer the day after the party.

    -You party sober and now understand how stupid you looked when you didn't.
    should be:
    -You party drunk and now understand how stupid you looked when you didn't.

    -You know who PRODUCED your favorite tracks, not just which DJ bought it and put it on a mix CD.
    should be:
    -You know who PRODUCED your favorite tracks, found it on the internet, burned it on cd, and never bought it on vinyl. you also have all his/her VIPs which you shouldnt.

    -You read URB.
    should be:
    -Your read URB. haw.

    -You hate drum n bass ho's.
    should be:
    -You ARE a drum n bass ho.

    -You think sweaty guys who run around the party shirtless should get thrown out.
    should be:
    -You think guys who run around the party moshing should get thrown out.

    -You act like a punk-ass bitch to security, police, and any other authority.
    should be:
    -You act like a punk-ass bitch.

    -You find the jungle room much more appealing now.
    should be:
    -You find the house/chillout room much more appealing now.

    -You hate Anthem tracks.
    should be:
    -Your cellphone ringer is fast car.

    -You sit around with friends and tell old "jungle disaster" stories.
    should be:
    -You sit around with friends and tell old "junglist" stories from the good ol years:2002
     
  3. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    both lists are by yanks hands down. out of leauge circle? punked?
     
  4. Ab0|2Ti0N

    Ab0|2Ti0N WHAT THE FUCK IS JUICE???

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    yeah, i copied and pasted this from another site. (y)
     
  5. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    still there are both funny bits and shit thats actually true there.
     
  6. Reactor Grits

    Reactor Grits lick a shot

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