so crew , where ya laid a cable .. ?? i once released a hostage in a cemetry right next to a grave stone ,( i was very very young) and my dog ate it as it was coming out my arse and hitting the floor, like i was offering it to the little scamp.. ( dog tounge to bumhole = hours of fun! ) .. i also was desparete for a turd in Germany once , i was at a playground on my own , and it was on its way out,pestering me..,. i was in a different country , so i was scared to let out the beast in a nearby bush,incase i got shot or a wiener twated me round the bonce.. so i stood on a climbing frame, and pretended to play,doing this weird swinging motion with my lower body, holding onto the frame with my feeble hands.. while i shat myself , then i continued to run home for half hour with turd rolling out my trouser legs .. a past people in the streets stinking of anal gravy , sad times .. last but not least , why is it .. that when you have a crap in a bush .. theres only those waxey slippery leaves availiable , they take ages and you slip onto your fingers .. bad times .. .. .. i know i shouldnt have , but i want to know .. what shit storys you lot got up your sleeves then ???