From Riisu's thread - Shittin in a bush ..

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by EWOKS, Jan 7, 2009.

  1. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    so crew , where ya laid a cable .. ??

    i once released a hostage in a cemetry right next to a grave stone ,( i was very very young) and my dog ate it as it was coming out my arse and hitting the floor, like i was offering it to the little scamp.. ( dog tounge to bumhole = hours of fun! ) ..

    i also was desparete for a turd in Germany once , i was at a playground on my own , and it was on its way out,pestering me..,. i was in a different country , so i was scared to let out the beast in a nearby bush,incase i got shot or a wiener twated me round the bonce..

    so i stood on a climbing frame, and pretended to play,doing this weird swinging motion with my lower body, holding onto the frame with my feeble hands.. while i shat myself , then i continued to run home for half hour with turd rolling out my trouser legs .. a past people in the streets stinking of anal gravy , sad times ..

    last but not least ,

    why is it ..

    that when you have a crap in a bush .. theres only those waxey slippery leaves availiable , they take ages and you slip onto your fingers .. bad times ..

    .. :ban::ban::ban: .. i know i shouldnt have , but i want to know ..

    what shit storys you lot got up your sleeves then ??? :clown::gang_bang
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2009
  2. spiderfran286

    spiderfran286 "Yes, squid pro roe..."

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    i layed a brick in the woods on a school trip when i was in about y5, and i had 1 down the bottom of a garden of a house i was clearing out, had no water so i cudnt flush so had to go outside, so i took a newspaper with me, shit onto the news paper, wrapped it up and threw it onto the train tracks
     
  3. DJHaze

    DJHaze I've been naughty, I'm banned

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    this is hilarious
     
  4. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    cummon, details, where in the woods ?? in a tree ? passers by you targetting ? .. photos ? ( selling em?) ...

    i think its an age thing ya know ..

    i wouldnt do it now , id rather die of toxic shock than wipe my arse on a handful of waxey leaves ..
     
  5. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    yea , true tho .. sadly thrue , had to look like a was playing , not pooing, strange country on your own when your a kid , i shit myself ..

    and i meant turd .. not turd , changed it now ..
     
  6. spiderfran286

    spiderfran286 "Yes, squid pro roe..."

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    the rest of my class was down the bottom of a hill, so i went to the top and did 1! nobody found me mid-shit!

    the 1 at the bottom of a garden was in the last 6 months, NO JOKE!
     
  7. spiderfran286

    spiderfran286 "Yes, squid pro roe..."

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    oh and i did a shit on the floor of the shower in a hotel me n 2 mates wer at in greece, i was well pissed, beeing sick in the toilet, so i thought id shit in the shower, finshed it, got up, got naked, got in bed naked with shitty feet, and my mate woke me up in the morning!
    apparently he'd got up to have a shower and seen what was laying in the bottom of it! haha imagine that greeting you in a morn......
    but i had to get up and clean up the shit, cured my hangover ill tell u that
     
  8. Dan M

    Dan M hard gay northern bear

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    SHITTY BACK RAT DICK

    :andy:
     
  9. muzzadj

    muzzadj POW!

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    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
     
  10. muzzadj

    muzzadj POW!

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    A few countrysiders but thats about it..

    i do have a mate that i swear would rather take a shit outdoors then inside lol.. He was pissed once and entered he-man mode and wiped with stingin nettles.. ouch lol!!
     
  11. ali^

    ali^ Bigtingsagwarn

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    when i was about 5 i was with my mum and dad and aunty on a walk somewhere, i had diorhea or some shit and ended up asking my mum what to do so she walked me over to a bush and told me to use the leaves to clean my arse. i didn't squat in a very good position and pretty much pissed shit out of my arse into the centre of my pants. I didnt dare tell anyone though because i was embarrased about my aunty knowing so i just got on with tins
     
  12. Nutek

    Nutek movement junglist

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    was having a shit in the woods once with only 1 tissue to wipe my arse with, the worst though was the weird old man walking his dog (yes, this is when the excrement release ceased)

    oh and when i did an all nighter once me and my mates went into some dodgy deserted tower site thingy place and i was bustng for it shit, i had to wipe my arse with a stone (it was smooth, don't worry)
     
  13. JunglelisticG

    JunglelisticG I ♥ Drum'N'Bass

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    I had 3 mates that when they needed to do there bisiness out side....they used to use there socks or pants to wipe them selfs...and then cover there poo so the next time they wouldnt step on it!
    They used to say watch-out for the mines :lol:

    dirty bastardssssssssssss :lol:
     
  14. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    My mates dad was pissed in Cyprus a few years ago and in between pubs went for a shit. Just as he was about to leave the area he noticed his shit moving into the distance he had shit on a frog.
     
  15. YOUNG TUNA

    YOUNG TUNA IT'S ME BITCHES

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    hhahhahaha
     
  16. perspective

    perspective Sex Drugs & Sausage Rolls

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    2 or 3 times had to scamp off into a field while i've been driving places.

    somebody has a photo of a very drunk me having a dump behind the aldi carwash in corby, northants :(

    another poo related story - was at reading festival with my ex gf last year, got back to the tent and my hands wandered downstairs, and i found a lump of poo in her pubes, the dirty heffa couldn't even wipe properly.

    slept in my mate's tent that night

    :sick:

    all my mates called me nugget for a while :(
     
  17. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    What was that story about the celebrity who decided to slum it at the last Glastonbury and when they got back to their tent somebody had shit in it and wiped their arse on their favourite T Shirt
     
  18. BDS

    BDS Active Member

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    fuckin hilarious m8.

    thats cheered me right up.
     
  19. perspective

    perspective Sex Drugs & Sausage Rolls

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    the worst part was when i found it i sat up and was like 'wtf?' she just put her hand down there, gave it a tug and winced a bit as it came out probably bringing with it a couple of hairs, unzipped the tent and just flicked it out towards some other poor fucker's tent, then tried to get me back into bed :rinsed:
     
  20. YOUNG TUNA

    YOUNG TUNA IT'S ME BITCHES

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    hhahahha- wait... what? how is that fucking possible?

    SERIOUSLY HOW

    poo in the pubes? alkjefaså