Friday Humour

Reality Check

Purveyor of fine antiques
Messages
257
Likes
3
#1
Technically it's Friday, so lets get the Friday Feeling with a few jokes. No matter how shit.

I'll start...

Things are bad at home, she says she's sick of me.

Football, Rugby, Cricket, Golf, every day it's sport on the telly, so to make it up to her I booked us a table in a quiet little place to try and patch things up.

By 9pm things were 10 times worse, she hadn't potted a single fucking red......
 

SLow

Quadrospazzed life-glug
VIP Junglist
Messages
3,573
Likes
30
#10
An Englishman, an American and a Pakistani are sat on the edge of the Empire State Building in New York drinking vodka.

The American says to the Pakistani "Do you know, that you can jump off the building here and the wind will loop you round and sit you right back here?"

Pakistani says "No chance, prove it to me".. so the American jumps off, flies round in a loop and sits right back where he was next to the Pakistani, who is amazed.

He suddenly jumps off the edge, falls head first onto the tarmac below and is killed instantly.

The Englishman turns to the American and says "Fucking hell Superman, your a nasty cunt when you've had a drink!"
 
Last edited:

Reality Check

Purveyor of fine antiques
Messages
257
Likes
3
#13
An Englishman, an American and a Pakistani are sat on the edge of the Empire State Building in New York drinking vodka.

The American says to the Pakistani "Do you know, that you can jump off the building here and the wind will loop you round and sit you right back here?"

Pakistani says "No chance, prove it to me".. so the American jumps off, flies round in a loop and sits right back where he was next to the Pakistani, who is amazed.

He suddenly jumps off the edge, falls head first onto the tarmac below and is killed instantly.

The Englishman turns to the American and says "Fucking hell Superman, your a nasty cunt when you've had a drink!"
:lol: Made me chuckle.
 
Top