its better than my first attempt, but the mixdown is off, sounds are quite kool, you've got sum good creative ideas, once you've got the technical side down, i'm sure you will be making some awsome music! considering your age and that you are self taught, i'm impressed mate! keep at it!!
the levels of the individual sounds, for eg the midrange of the bass is very big, but the precussion is a bit weak, its a balancing act really, best way to fix it is reset all your channel volumes to zero, then get your bass and precussion as tight as possible, then bring up the volume on the rest of hte channels until it sounds balanced