For a first attempt its not bad!, it does sound a bit too happy and cheerfull for me though. the drums I personally am not a fan of just because of the arrangement, mess around with where you placed the kick and snare (if that makes sense) and the intro is a little bit long cut it to around 1:10 or 1:30!
(oh yeah and add a break in there under your drums get a nice little shuffle going get things rolling!)
For first attempt mate not bad but needs work, im not really feeling the drums maybe cut up a loop to roll behind yours, plus i think fragments is rite sounds to happy! imo if you made your bassline dirty and louder it would balance the mood abit more. Good work mate