FILTHY JUICE FEST

Dan M

hard gay northern bear
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#1
whats the dirtiest/craziest/wildest thing you've ever done/asked to do/been asked to do or seen sum1 do.

now am not talking bout wot youve seen on porn only in real life.

and try n make it funny not dead rude cos it'll no doubt get lifted.

i was really pissed once and was gettin jiggy with missus got dead carried away in moment and index finger went up brownpipe then i licked it clean.

it was all done in like one quick move if you get me and i dint register wot i was doing anyway after i did it i gagged at the thought of it and she went "what did you jus do" not avin time to think i lied n jus said "i sniffed it" trying to get out of the fact i licked it clean then gagged.

this opened up a whole new can of worms because now shes like "why are you trying to sniff it you sick cunt" and is gettin quite vitriolic

anyway i jus said i dont know what am doing sum1 spiked me with ket. the sex stopped and we fell out big time.

recently she brought this up to poke fun at me...........bitch
 

[Politrix]

Peace & fucking, believe!
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#4
rang a porn line, started getsta goin with the bird, kinky bitch...

did the whole shit with it on loudspeaker. high-five!

cost a bit tho
 

SIRUS

変なひと
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#5
I HELD A GIRLS HAND ONCE, IT WAS DISAPPOINTING AS IT WAS ALL OVER SO QUICKLY. BUT IT WAS OK BECAUSE I WAITED 20 MINUTES AND WE DID IT AGAIN! THIS TIME IT WAS EVEN BETTER, NOT NORMAL HOLDING HANDS BUT THE KIND WHEN YOU INTERLOCK FINGERS. IT WAS REALLY SPECIAL AND I TOLD HER I WOULD STILL RESPECT HER IN THE MORNING. WHEN I MET UP WITH MY MATES AFTER, I LET THEM SMELL MY FINGERS.

THE END.
 

gcurt1s

Buried Audio
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#6
I HELD A GIRLS HAND ONCE, IT WAS DISAPPOINTING AS IT WAS ALL OVER SO QUICKLY. BUT IT WAS OK BECAUSE I WAITED 20 MINUTES AND WE DID IT AGAIN! THIS TIME IT WAS EVEN BETTER, NOT NORMAL HOLDING HANDS BUT THE KIND WHEN YOU INTERLOCK FINGERS. IT WAS REALLY SPECIAL AND I TOLD HER I WOULD STILL RESPECT HER IN THE MORNING. WHEN I MET UP WITH MY MATES AFTER, I LET THEM SMELL MY FINGERS.

THE END.
you embody steve carrell well.
 

EWOKS

POTATOES GONNA POTATE
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#7
rammed a girl once , thought went to the toilet afterwards to go for a piss, had a look at my fella , jap-eye loooked dark'ish , off colour sort of .. looked close and down into it was a blood clot of somesort , instead of just going for a piss and pissing it out , i got the fingertips/nails on the bugger , pulled the clot out my end .. but it was long and came out abit stringy .. imagine this .. you eat a bacon sarny , you swallow the bacon rind , it goes down your throat , you gag.. and stick your fingers down your throat to pull the rind out , and you can feel it come up and out from deep down your throat ..

thats what the old clot did , felt like i was pulling a long hair out my jappady jap jap .. but it was i big stringy old blood clot , so yea , washed it away , had a piss , then went and smashed her in agen .. doesnt sound too grim i know , but abit of shame it was ...
 

logikz

I Am Not The King
Tribal Leader
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#9
when i was fourteen me and a couple of mates got into an argument with a girl which could only be settled by all of us meeting after school and eating her out. five of us. she was a year older so she shagged her classmate afterwards. guess she was pretty wound up at that point.
thing wasnt foul as such i mean dan and ethix stories are pretty wrong but still
 

Borf™

Borf
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#10
When my ex had hockey practice after school when we were 16, i forgot and went round hers, so her mum let me in and said go chill in her room.

Her mum was FIT, but obviously wouldn't fuck me, so I had to improvise.

Left my missus' door open a bit and had a wank, knowing her mum would walk passed and see me, which she did, and then noticed I had seen her, and kinda rushed off. Was mega intense and then gave my bird a very hard drilling later on.

I've also eaten a girl out when she's on, it really wasn't that bad if you ask me, but some people might find it rank.
 

Joey AdhD

sweaty scouser
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#11
rammed a girl once , thought went to the toilet afterwards to go for a piss, had a look at my fella , jap-eye loooked dark'ish , off colour sort of .. looked close and down into it was a blood clot of somesort , instead of just going for a piss and pissing it out , i got the fingertips/nails on the bugger , pulled the clot out my end .. but it was long and came out abit stringy .. imagine this .. you eat a bacon sarny , you swallow the bacon rind , it goes down your throat , you gag.. and stick your fingers down your throat to pull the rind out , and you can feel it come up and out from deep down your throat ..

thats what the old clot did , felt like i was pulling a long hair out my jappady jap jap .. but it was i big stringy old blood clot , so yea , washed it away , had a piss , then went and smashed her in agen .. doesnt sound too grim i know , but abit of shame it was ...
This is going to haunt me, propa grim, u never fail to amaze me with your stories bro.
 

Dan M

hard gay northern bear
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#18
theres some kid that ETHIX knows (his name begins with an m and he used to get up on stage at uprising) who shat in a birds mouth so the rumour goes. ETHIX will be able to shed light on the subject.
 

Dan M

hard gay northern bear
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#20
nah, n its not summat ad be proud of either cos.... (and i didnt to lower the already rock bottom tone by telling you this part earlier but).... if i remember i reckon he was suspected of raping the poor girl then shitting in her mouth.

please if anyone is offended by this am sorry but it is a genuine story ( i think ) either way am not trying to take the piss in any way. i actually think he got banged up for it.

Frat get ETHIX to name and shame the mofo. think its sumat like matlock or sum1.
 
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