FILTHY JUICE FEST

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Dan M, Jan 13, 2009.

  1. Dan M

    Dan M hard gay northern bear

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2008
    Messages:
    5,053
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    YORKSHIRE
    whats the dirtiest/craziest/wildest thing you've ever done/asked to do/been asked to do or seen sum1 do.

    now am not talking bout wot youve seen on porn only in real life.

    and try n make it funny not dead rude cos it'll no doubt get lifted.

    i was really pissed once and was gettin jiggy with missus got dead carried away in moment and index finger went up brownpipe then i licked it clean.

    it was all done in like one quick move if you get me and i dint register wot i was doing anyway after i did it i gagged at the thought of it and she went "what did you jus do" not avin time to think i lied n jus said "i sniffed it" trying to get out of the fact i licked it clean then gagged.

    this opened up a whole new can of worms because now shes like "why are you trying to sniff it you sick cunt" and is gettin quite vitriolic

    anyway i jus said i dont know what am doing sum1 spiked me with ket. the sex stopped and we fell out big time.

    recently she brought this up to poke fun at me...........bitch
     
  2. Nutek

    Nutek movement junglist

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    4,051
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Hampshire
    HAHA WTF MAN, tell your missus to clean her crease :lol:
     
  3. Dan M

    Dan M hard gay northern bear

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2008
    Messages:
    5,053
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    YORKSHIRE
    i can still taste it when i close my eyes
     
  4. [Politrix]

    [Politrix] Peace & fucking, believe!

    Joined:
    Feb 29, 2008
    Messages:
    1,308
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    South West
    rang a porn line, started getsta goin with the bird, kinky bitch...

    did the whole shit with it on loudspeaker. high-five!

    cost a bit tho
     
  5. SIRUS

    SIRUS 変なひと

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2007
    Messages:
    5,158
    Likes Received:
    874
    I HELD A GIRLS HAND ONCE, IT WAS DISAPPOINTING AS IT WAS ALL OVER SO QUICKLY. BUT IT WAS OK BECAUSE I WAITED 20 MINUTES AND WE DID IT AGAIN! THIS TIME IT WAS EVEN BETTER, NOT NORMAL HOLDING HANDS BUT THE KIND WHEN YOU INTERLOCK FINGERS. IT WAS REALLY SPECIAL AND I TOLD HER I WOULD STILL RESPECT HER IN THE MORNING. WHEN I MET UP WITH MY MATES AFTER, I LET THEM SMELL MY FINGERS.

    THE END.
     
  6. gcurt1s

    gcurt1s Buried Audio

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,558
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    london
    you embody steve carrell well.
     
  7. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2008
    Messages:
    7,410
    Likes Received:
    360
    Location:
    Portsmouth
    rammed a girl once , thought went to the toilet afterwards to go for a piss, had a look at my fella , jap-eye loooked dark'ish , off colour sort of .. looked close and down into it was a blood clot of somesort , instead of just going for a piss and pissing it out , i got the fingertips/nails on the bugger , pulled the clot out my end .. but it was long and came out abit stringy .. imagine this .. you eat a bacon sarny , you swallow the bacon rind , it goes down your throat , you gag.. and stick your fingers down your throat to pull the rind out , and you can feel it come up and out from deep down your throat ..

    thats what the old clot did , felt like i was pulling a long hair out my jappady jap jap .. but it was i big stringy old blood clot , so yea , washed it away , had a piss , then went and smashed her in agen .. doesnt sound too grim i know , but abit of shame it was ...
     
  8. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2008
    Messages:
    7,410
    Likes Received:
    360
    Location:
    Portsmouth
    COCK GAGGING ON MOTT CLOTTS ??????



    picture that in ya Beano annual ..
     
  9. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,556
    Likes Received:
    2,520
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com
    when i was fourteen me and a couple of mates got into an argument with a girl which could only be settled by all of us meeting after school and eating her out. five of us. she was a year older so she shagged her classmate afterwards. guess she was pretty wound up at that point.
    thing wasnt foul as such i mean dan and ethix stories are pretty wrong but still
     
  10. Borf™

    Borf™ Borf

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2007
    Messages:
    9,693
    Likes Received:
    342
    Location:
    Cardiff, not the Valleys
    When my ex had hockey practice after school when we were 16, i forgot and went round hers, so her mum let me in and said go chill in her room.

    Her mum was FIT, but obviously wouldn't fuck me, so I had to improvise.

    Left my missus' door open a bit and had a wank, knowing her mum would walk passed and see me, which she did, and then noticed I had seen her, and kinda rushed off. Was mega intense and then gave my bird a very hard drilling later on.

    I've also eaten a girl out when she's on, it really wasn't that bad if you ask me, but some people might find it rank.
     
  11. Joey AdhD

    Joey AdhD sweaty scouser

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    7,158
    Likes Received:
    298
    Location:
    Liverpool, United Kingdom
    This is going to haunt me, propa grim, u never fail to amaze me with your stories bro.
     
  12. slimbo011

    slimbo011 I've been naughty, I'm banned

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2007
    Messages:
    1,130
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Gloucester
    i once fapped over dot cotton

    end thread/
     
  13. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,556
    Likes Received:
    2,520
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com
    whats that? dot cotton?
     
  14. OCR

    OCR SB

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2009
    Messages:
    2,047
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Malmo
  15. perspective

    perspective Sex Drugs & Sausage Rolls

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,154
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Portsmouth, UK
    things were never right again after i found a lumpy poo nugget caught in my ex's snatchcoat.
     
  16. Riisu

    Riisu Not the Preacher Man

    Joined:
    May 21, 2007
    Messages:
    7,307
    Likes Received:
    226
    Location:
    Hornchurch
    snatchcoat.

    amazing!
     
  17. Fratanize

    Fratanize Keepin the jungle alive

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2008
    Messages:
    2,140
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    PORTSMOUTH
    i went down on a bird once and came back up with a red beard. Stick that in ya pirate ship and smoke it.
     
  18. Dan M

    Dan M hard gay northern bear

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2008
    Messages:
    5,053
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    YORKSHIRE
    theres some kid that ETHIX knows (his name begins with an m and he used to get up on stage at uprising) who shat in a birds mouth so the rumour goes. ETHIX will be able to shed light on the subject.
     
  19. Fratanize

    Fratanize Keepin the jungle alive

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2008
    Messages:
    2,140
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    PORTSMOUTH
    he told me it was you dan.
     
  20. Dan M

    Dan M hard gay northern bear

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2008
    Messages:
    5,053
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    YORKSHIRE
    nah, n its not summat ad be proud of either cos.... (and i didnt to lower the already rock bottom tone by telling you this part earlier but).... if i remember i reckon he was suspected of raping the poor girl then shitting in her mouth.

    please if anyone is offended by this am sorry but it is a genuine story ( i think ) either way am not trying to take the piss in any way. i actually think he got banged up for it.

    Frat get ETHIX to name and shame the mofo. think its sumat like matlock or sum1.