Fake Andy C Twitter account - lolz


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''You have to hand it to my little cousin Beccy . She has no arms''

@dragonjones Hi I’m Andy. Dragons Den Idea 1 – I can exercise peoples pet hamsters while I’m DJ’ing. 33rpm brisk walk 45rpm jog 78rpm sprint
about 9 hours ago via


oh my and this one...

New rule for Ram nights. No wet people. If your poor enough to get wet you can stay outside with the rest of the peasants.
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Mr G

Old Cunt From 19 Longtime
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He sent Katie Price some good tweets.

@MissKatiePrice people don't boo you because you're in panto. They boo you because you're a cunt and your gash is like an otters pocket

@MissKatiePrice Hang junior,fill him full of sweets,hit him with a stick. Congratulations- you can now legally beat him he's a donkey pinata

@MissKatiePrice PAPS harassing you? Really? Well you do sell your fucking life to the media you fame hungry STD skip

@MissKatiePrice Walked past your house this morning. Is Harvey on a diet or something? The windows were fucking filthy.

Dj Mark Track

That is pure quality, fucking genius, i liked this one......

@Alter_Ego_2010 make sure the tune is 173bpm before sending it. My PC is fucked due to all the grot I've been watchin on it.Send to Scott


Just say no to dubstep!
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This is brilliant. Loved these ones:

@JKCorden Happy Xmas to you. Ram party at Fabric next week, you’re welcome but we have no buffet. A fella outside sells hotdogs though

@JKCorden Knock Knock. Who's there? James Corden. Fuck off

@carlyjanewinter I've got a bet with GQ on what we could fit up your conk. I'm saying a Nokia 5210, he's saying 2 packs of Rowntrees Randoms


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Some of these are ridiculous, i bet andy's screwing!

@djzinc the A to the N to the D to the Y to the C 'ANDY C' . Lost my Ska vip can you do me another I know a good mix with it that's all

@Noisia_nl Less handsex, more tunes

@subfocus Getting complaints that you've used the same kick and snare for 5 years. Can you get in contact with TC and borrow his drum kit?

@MissKatiePrice Why do you bother with a pink Range Rover? I have a broomstick here that you can fly about on and also beat Harvey with it

@MissKatiePrice B&Q have a spade sale at the moment, it's a dual purpose spade you can feed Harvey and then clean up his dirty ones with it

I've been mixing Turbulence into Valley of the Shadows for over 10 years and people still pay me 2k an hour. Idiots

@DJ_LIVELY Gym? you mean butchers

@MissKatiePrice how about you push Harvey off the pier and weigh him down with all the unsold copies of your dyslexic biography. You twat


Easily distracte
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Goes all the way back to March 2009!?

I'm in Penzance at my grans. Loads of peasants bowling around with scuffed Lonsdale boxing shoes and haircuts so shit the dogs look stylish

9:34 PM Mar 28th, 2009 via web

---------- Post added at 13:49 ---------- Previous post was at 13:33 ----------

Some of my favourites;

"# Also I've come to a conclusion that dubstep sounds like the imagination of a 12 year old who has been fed candles and fireworks for lunch 03 December 2009 11:33:51 via web

@MissKatiePrice I hope your Xmas was shit and your horses get turned into glue. 29 December 2009 18:44:07 via web in reply to MissKatiePrice

If one more person tells me it's cold outside I'm gonna throw the book of 'Fucking obviously' at them. Cold? Really? Snow? Fuck off 07 January 2010 18:32:43 via web

I'm going to get a house cat and make it watch Avatar every morning so it assumes the outside world is full of blue people. 22 April 2010 02:55:15 via web

@MissKatiePrice Katie Come and pick your fucking spade up - he’s drinking out of the toilet again. Peter 21 July 2010 16:26:39 via web in reply to MissKatiePrice

MC Det just called "You need an MC at RAM?" Hmmm yeah probably if I was short of roid monkeys with shit haircuts and a speech impediment 30 November 2010 17:06:14 via web

Ram sold out at Fabric.100 tickets available at door, due to Red One we will let gingers in however you must be available to collect glasses 30 November 2010 17:30:26 via web

Some strange noises coming from my neighbours house. I’ll leave soon it’s fairly uncomfortable hiding in his cloak room 01 December 2010 10:53:16 via web

Just got to Fabio's. No one is answering the door, he does live with a family of otters doesn't he? Regretting dropping that ket now , help! 01 December 2010 20:24:06 via Twitter for iPhone

Just finished painting my 'Chaos Space Marine Terminator'. Battle with Sub Focus later in the Imperial Sector, Warhammer 40,000 FTW 07 December 2010 14:20:50 via web

Frictions Hairdresser? You wouldn't think a haircut styled on the mental illness of a Xmas tree could make him look more of cunt, bravo! 07 December 2010 14:27:36 via web

# @MissKatiePrice Hang junior,fill him full of sweets,hit him with a stick. Congratulations- you can now legally beat him he's a donkey pinata 08 December 2010 17:52:06 via web

Like all people my age. I'm 34 11 December 2010 21:19:53 via Twitter for iPhone

I've decided on my new years resolution. It's going to be 1024×768 14 December 2010 09:04:06 via web

@sigmahq if you don't sort me an Andy VIP of cylon you're not welcome at my next BBQ. Remember how good Scotts burgers were? Toasted bun! 14 December 2010 21:41:07 via Twitter for iPhone in reply to sigmahq

It's difficult touring abroad especially showering. Sometimes I just sellotape my face up and peel off the dirt after a gig. 15 December 2010 12:48:58 via web

ordinary people can make themselves feel more important by carrying a bugle everywhere they go and sounding it before they enter the room 15 December 2010 17:23:18 via web

Just writing a letter of complaint to my local council about the state of the play park. I nearly broke my neck on the swing earlier 16 December 2010 11:59:49 via web

# Just in the studio with TC, he smells like a rotting beef carcass. He reminds me of a tubby version of Mark Wright from 'This Is Essex' 16 December 2010 16:10:53 via web

Can someone tell that roid monkey MC Det I want my Torchwood DVD Boxset back. He scratched the Stargate Universe collection I leant him.Tool 16 December 2010 18:18:20 via web

# I don't give a shit what Scott thinks. If I want to wear my 'Executioner' boxers gown to the gig I will. Knobhead 17 December 2010 20:46:53 via Twitter for iPhone"

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