Was it runny, solid, brown, yellow, noisy, airy, wet, dry, incomplete, sexy, did it contain anything you haven't eaten, did you look at the paper after you wiped, did you strain, was it free-flowing, was the smell addictive, once you sniffed did you have to sniff again just to verify that you produced the goods? Or all of the above? We want details. Finish the god damn story.
drinking loads of wine gives me arse crayons** **where you just keep wiping and wiping. the phantom shit is weirdest, you know you had one but the evidence cant be found, even after forensic tissue examination.