You watch those cunts say "oh. Well it's gonna end on another date". No offence if you are religious, but fuck believing that some magical jeb-end is going to beam down and whisk you away to a better place. Save that shit for the scientologists. Fuckers
I had some pretty intense visions or something last night, like one of them divine inventions, and I'm pretty sure my cat stopped Rapture and the Apocalypse and all that by eating a Hello Kitty cupcake thus dividing by zero.
There was fury across the universe this morning, after Jesus cancelled plans for the much anticipated Rapture on the 21st of May 2011, due to budget cuts and fears over worker saftey.
The Archangel Trade Union went on strike yesterday morning, 7 hours before the Rapture was due to begin, due to cuts to welfare and healthcare for all non-Human entities. Disputes have been ongoing for the last 400 years, due to fears for worker saftey in the new planet decommisioning system, which is now $25Trillion over budget, ''he cant make it until 2114 at the earliest'', a spokesperson for Jesus Christ Interstellar Ltd said today. The Mayan Diety Union have also made a statement, ''unless he arrives before 20th December 2012'', when the Mayan Calander is due to be shutdown, ready for its restart on the 21st of December 2012, ''we will take legal action against him, as it will add a further $12Billion to the planned realignment of Planet Earth and the Solar System''. The Consortium of Prophets are up in arms, with one member throwing a shoe at Archangel Gabriel during the official news conference, less than 12 hours after the planned Rapture, ''Why are we always the last to know? our jobs are hard enough as it is, without this kind of crap, we where up all night waiting for this''. Buddha was unavailable for comment.
The Bible's a brilliant collection of Babylonian, Mesopotamian and Nubian folk tales, twisted and distorted through 2000 years of the Church pumping it full of religio-steroids and bigotry making it the vessel of a mutant super-religion bent on dominating all aspects of human life.
There's nothing my cat can do to that book that the Christians haven't done already.