When I was at school we were all timed for each relevant event and distances thrown. We had to all put are best on a big board on the changing room wall though the relevance of this was not known. Me not conforming to the rules decided to put up exaggerated times and distances for the hurdles and the triple jump. So it got to the end of the season and to my horror I was chosen to represent the school in both events at the local schools championship at Palmer Park, Reading. I was completely annihilated in the triple jump. So in the hurdles I decided to bow out gracefully by colliding into the 3rd hurdle. Then there was football career playing for Twyford Comets Under 15s. Finished the season 0 wins/1 draw/17 defeats, 8 goals for 120 against. Though we did get through to the quarter finals of the cup. Got a bye in the 1st round. 2nd round just scraped through against the bottom team in the league below us 3-2. Quarter finals though got stuffed 32-0, which I sill think is a record in the area. Not all bad though got tickets to see my one and only Premiership match. Fucking QPR vs Wimbledon, possibly the shittest match of all time.