The timbres you've got going with the breaks are really nice, really rough but not lacking in power. I like the switch you make but I think you should vary the breaks more within each section, there are definitely more things you could do... try moving the snares off 2 and 4 or doing a few repeat 3 beat patterns or fills/rolls and stuff. Or like ghost notes that are a bit shorter and quieter give you lots of potential ideas. I also reckon the ending is a bit lazy, you don't need to do much to finish it but you could do a little bit more.
I would like the idea apart from I watched too much dr. who as a kid so now it seems a bit silly