Comical facebook friends

Borf™

Borf
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Anyone have any?

This girl who went to my school has the funniest statuses... Such a rudegal joker.

EMAIL A PRISONER!! i'm feeling it 25p a go still cheeper than stamps n envolopes the amount i send anyway!

Smoken a PHATT head

bludy ell every1 shows up at da same tym mi n d was chillin aving a phatt head then his gals cums all safe then leigh then vin lol heads

loves all the h8rs. its all joke tho innit. sad lil ppl with no lifes!!!

FUKIN H8 THESE JOKERS GOT LOADS 2 SAY BEHINDE YA BACK YET THEY NO - CUM UP IN MY FACE AND ILL SMASH YOU CLEAN IN DA TEETH!!!! SMELLY BITCH GO AV A WASH!!!

Went 2c mi man munday. Cnt wait 2c hm this week. Got hm tha best bday prezi.shame he cnt av it til he get owt. An y is tha trampy x addin mi asa friend on ere? Wot cud tha posibly do 4mi? Hw wud i benfit frm that! Gwan wid u. Bu no!

chillin wiv henri thinkin christian southwood is a proppa wanker biggest prick on planet! im glad i broke my hand on his face, CUNT!

mi n chris chillin! been ov park last few days in tha sun wiv tha dogs catchin rays!!
dogs ad fight 2day was nasti. zoe mohamed cum ova 4 rink n spliff thats bow it! :) maria caroline rhea n tha wan partii 2nite. im feelin it jus c how it go afta soaps....

unless u got muni 4 mi dnt speak 2 mi...

Jail mail. Makes u wonder. Do i reply? Or jus let hm rot?

stupid fukin men!!! think u got1 ova on mi?? dou no who i am i milked u frm day1 blud clarrttt!!!! his shop get turnd ova mans a pusssi

---------- Post added at 10:44 ---------- Previous post was at 10:39 ----------

Also have this girl who at 20 still hasn't grasped english...

cant wait for next week i am off work for a week lush and i can chilin with my family and see my nan wich i havent see in a long time xx lush woop woop

i am so happy my well fit docter say u can go home woop woop i cant waet to have my bed bk x

i am love my new job the ppl i work with r nice to work with ?

i am get pissed to nite eith my girls to nite xx

it my bday to my i am goin to 20 and i cant wat to go on the pissed on satuday with all my m8 and mybest m8 martine

am go to be so bored for 2 week i dnt now wot i am goin to do lol @'':P lol
 

SLow

Quadrospazzed life-glug
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Tell me about it, bare skanks around my way have had this status the last week:

Police have advised ALL PARENTS, Please don't enter your baby into the NEXT Baby competition on facebook or any other networking site. It has nothing to do with NEXT it has been set up by a peodophile ring!! pleasecopy and paste! It aint a joke or a random broadcast! DO NOT ENTER THE BABY COMPETITION CLAIMED TO BE NEXT, IT IS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM, IT HAS BEEN SET UP BY A PAEDOPHILE!!!! WATCH SKY NEW


Also I don't know why but people who are alright in real life become total knobs on facebook?? Either sucking up to their girlfriends big time, playing gangster or even just writing incoherent shit status that make me want to defriend them both online and offline.....
 
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MARKLAR

International Tracksuit Salesman
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dam i that first girl was utter gutter bizznezz yea it rhymes big whoop wanna fight about it.
the statuses that make me laugh quite abit have to be nitrouses there so soppy an shit!haha
im in love special girl bla bla hahaha
 

SLow

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Oh christ I forgot about Nitrous, had to block him because of his status. What a cringebob.
 

MARKLAR

International Tracksuit Salesman
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i just dont bother put status updates unless its a tune or sumfin
i dont care about other peoples ones so i dont expect em to care about what i just had for dinner or sumfin
 

Borf™

Borf
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Haha, yeh Nitrous' statuses are quality too.

That one when they broke up or something and he didn't want to go on living without her haha.

I mean fair enough, text her that if she means THAT much, but put it on facebook? Damn.
 

dnb in ya face

Loud and Dirrrty
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Yer that pisses me off. People who write personal stuff on facebook because they want EVERYONE to see. And people who write random bollocks to people like "love you babe" or shit statuses about "Fuck my life is shit bla bla bla" FOR FUCK SAKE DO WE REALLY CARE YOU ATTENTION SEEKING LITTLE HO

I find it so hard to stop myself from being a cunt on there. I can't help it. I love putting jokes from the "sick joke thread" on there and seeing people reactions. Some people have no sense of humour
 

richie_stix

gomby plz
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I find it so hard to stop myself from being a cunt on there. I can't help it. I love putting jokes from the "sick joke thread" on there and seeing people reactions. Some people have no sense of humour
indeed, i love trolling facebook... everyone i know takes it so seriously! one bird was like 'OMG, i just watched a documentary on battery farms, how can people eat kfc' so i commented 'om nom nom chicken' and lols ensued!

i hate people who cant write properly on facebook too... like the bollocks that borf posted
 

Sammy_Dodger

Mr Ed
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Rocksteadys can be a bit cringey sometimes.

I hate the one that tag their location for some reason. Who cares if youre at londonbride or not. Fuck off!!!
 

ONSLAUGHT88

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init that was hard to read, i definatley hate personal shit on there and arguments whats the point, its like doing on the playground or something so everyone can see
 

logikz

I Am Not The King
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do you think people would mind if you defriended them, like would they say something about it when you meet? i know some who got their friend request denied by someone i know, cos she only keeps bacefook friends that she actually knows and hangs out with, and they had kind of a sullen air about them when they spoke about it
 

richie_stix

gomby plz
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do you think people would mind if you defriended them, like would they say something about it when you meet? i know some who got their friend request denied by someone i know, cos she only keeps bacefook friends that she actually knows and hangs out with, and they had kind of a sullen air about them when they spoke about it
well, they wont know unless you go to the profile and see 'add as a friend'... it isn't 'so and so has de-frended you'
 

ONSLAUGHT88

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dean wilson - why am i still so tired?!? i blame Ceri HoboCez Dobner's and my baby for this, little bastard would not stop kicking!!!!



shit like this gets me..

Jamie Wyatt
get on your knees girls, fuck it, boys can join if they like! I just want my dick sucked. you bunch of cunts.
 

Moskit

:rodigan:
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This is where I agree with Korfs hatred for social netowrking sites

There is only one thing worse than these types of people/status updates, or even actually being on facebook & thats talking about it elsewhere, especially in a further online scenario.

That is all.
 

Borf™

Borf
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I hate the usual "I'm gay" face rape

The funniest face rape I've seen is when someone got my mate with "Me and the missus are expecting! 14 weeks gone so not too long before my baby comes into this world! So chuffed, I'm going to be a dad!"

Cue about 30 comments in 5 minutes from friends and family members congratulating him haha. It was priceless.
 
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