Discussion in 'Waffle' started by RocksteadyUK, Apr 6, 2009.
Hit me with them!
If you say Chuck Norris 3 times in the mirror, he comes up behind you and roundhouse kicks you in the head.
Chuck Norris' favourite china figurine can be found in the exact centre of every Tru Playaz moshpit, not one has been damaged or even moved yet.
Since Chuck Norris began speaking at high schools about teenage pregnancy, unplanned pregnancies are down 100%. He has planned every one.
chuck norris can suck my balls. i'll hit you with some safety facts...
safety can crush an empty coke can with one hand*
safety can jump on a horse froma standing position*
safety can talk to girls and chat them up a little bit*
safety can eat a whole steak*
safety can play drum and bass records and mix them together*
safety can drink about a pint of beer before he needs to have a wee*
safety can think about one thing and talk about another*
safety can read*
safety can use the internet and find lot's of porn*
safety can beat up 10 year old kids on his own*
safety can smoke a packet of fags in 3 days*
safety can make mini skirts*
safety can pick things up with either hand*
safety can do a forward roll*
all 100% true
The last man who made eye contact with Chuck Norris was Ray Charles
there's no such thing as natural selection. just a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live
Chuck Norris doesnt sleep, he just waits...
When Chuck norris does push ups, the pushes the world DOWN
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
Chuck Norris doesnt have a CTRL key on his keyboard. Chuck Norris is always in Control.
Chuck Norris is the only man who can slam a revolving door
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer... Too bad Chuck Norris never cries
if it was chuck norris in 24 it would be called 1
The only reason extra terrestrials are afraid to land is because Chuck is still alive
Chuck Norris successfully seperated twins conjoined at the head by roundkicking them in the face
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card
Separate names with a comma.