Chuck Norris Facts

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by RocksteadyUK, Apr 6, 2009.

  1. RocksteadyUK

    RocksteadyUK SkimoBeats

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    Hit me with them!
     
  2. ac

    ac I've been naughty, I'm banned

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    If you say Chuck Norris 3 times in the mirror, he comes up behind you and roundhouse kicks you in the head.
     
  3. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    Chuck Norris' favourite china figurine can be found in the exact centre of every Tru Playaz moshpit, not one has been damaged or even moved yet.
     
  4. RocksteadyUK

    RocksteadyUK SkimoBeats

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    Since Chuck Norris began speaking at high schools about teenage pregnancy, unplanned pregnancies are down 100%. He has planned every one.
     
  5. safety

    safety double safety

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    chuck norris can suck my balls. i'll hit you with some safety facts...

    safety can crush an empty coke can with one hand*

    safety can jump on a horse froma standing position*

    safety can talk to girls and chat them up a little bit*

    safety can eat a whole steak*

    safety can play drum and bass records and mix them together*

    safety can drink about a pint of beer before he needs to have a wee*

    safety can think about one thing and talk about another*

    safety can read*

    safety can use the internet and find lot's of porn*

    safety can beat up 10 year old kids on his own*

    safety can smoke a packet of fags in 3 days*

    safety can make mini skirts*

    safety can pick things up with either hand*

    safety can do a forward roll*

    all 100% true
     
  6. RocksteadyUK

    RocksteadyUK SkimoBeats

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    The last man who made eye contact with Chuck Norris was Ray Charles
     
  7. moriaty

    moriaty Active Member

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    there's no such thing as natural selection. just a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live
     
  8. ScottyEightSix

    ScottyEightSix HUGE EARS > COMEDY CHIN

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    Chuck Norris doesnt sleep, he just waits...
     
  9. KEMZ

    KEMZ Blatant Royal Status

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    When Chuck norris does push ups, the pushes the world DOWN
     
  10. Fes Rock

    Fes Rock Nothing..........

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    Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
     
  11. Fes Rock

    Fes Rock Nothing..........

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    On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
     
  12. Fes Rock

    Fes Rock Nothing..........

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    Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
     
  13. RocksteadyUK

    RocksteadyUK SkimoBeats

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    Chuck Norris doesnt have a CTRL key on his keyboard. Chuck Norris is always in Control.
     
  14. KEMZ

    KEMZ Blatant Royal Status

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    Chuck Norris is the only man who can slam a revolving door
     
  15. JamesZero

    JamesZero aka Zero Beats

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    Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
     
  16. Rubs90

    Rubs90 KeyControl

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    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer... Too bad Chuck Norris never cries
     
  17. Blurr

    Blurr Wasted Selection

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    if it was chuck norris in 24 it would be called 1
     
  18. KEMZ

    KEMZ Blatant Royal Status

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    The only reason extra terrestrials are afraid to land is because Chuck is still alive
     
  19. KEMZ

    KEMZ Blatant Royal Status

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    haha:)
     
  20. sotalex

    sotalex man your battlestations

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    Chuck Norris successfully seperated twins conjoined at the head by roundkicking them in the face

    Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card