christmas Shitting

Radius

Its all a scam so start stealing
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#1
Just cos some hippie called Heezuz or whatever was apparently born in a pile of cowshit 2000 years ago I am meant to buy gifts for all my family .. How the fuck did that one work out . hmmm. Nice to see the christmas cheer in the car parks..he ke he
Anyone goin to Swerve tonight ???

Could be a good one..
 

Toejam

OOOBEY DOOBEY
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#2
Had my works xmas party the other day, nice posh pub free food and a beer tab, when the tab ran out we lambasted some dude into making an £80 round of jager shots, the night went well went home and slept, woke up at 4am violently sick everywhere, i mean everywhere, but was too drunk to care so went back to sleep, woke up the next day hanging majorly out of my anus, step to the toilet and slid in my own puke from the night before, its not a good look in all honesty, and to be honest i blame christmas and probably jews, someones to blame here, its not normal behavior
 

SIRUS

変なひと
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#4
Jews don't believe in Jesus. Romans do though, but then they killed him, so....

Santa Claus is a more worring tale at this time of year. A secretive fat bloke watching kids all year round that visits the ones he likes to give gifts while they are asleep.

* shudders, but with fingers crossed and cookies and milk layed out *
 
D

dirty breaks

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#5
yeah... the very same Bad Santa who empties his 'sack' for the little kiddies. 'cos you know, he only 'comes' once a year...
 

Catsel

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#6
shirly if your a true christian, you wouldn't need an excuse like christmas to give gifts to your loved ones.

blap.

oh an religion is gay.
 

logikz

I Am Not The King
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#8
the q'uoran mentions jesus as a prophet. which is kind of funny since the bible is 100% a contrived falsified melange of all types of religious nonsense that was going around at the time. its pretty funny people fear hell and kill in the name of what ever flavor of christianity they prefer considering the bible is a a a well its not real is it. but you already knew that. always with the feces stan, why is that. anyways on to more pressing matters, should i spend four hours at the airport or not tonight is the question, what do you think.
 

DeeGun

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#10
the q'uoran mentions jesus as a prophet. which is kind of funny since the bible is 100% a contrived falsified melange of all types of religious nonsense that was going around at the time.
Pfff, the Qur´an is a paraphrase of the bible but Moarhaminnit added lickle stories that made him shine a light.
 

logikz

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#11
the last taxi shuttle from work goes at five and i fly at nine. got my packing with me and all just i didnt expect to spend that much time at the airport. you know theres only one thing to do at airports right. drinking. ill be off my face by the time i see my family and my mother will subsequently kill me. alternatively i could make my way there on my own of course but that would mean not following my initial plan and that would make my obsessive compulsive act up and thats usually not good at all. this is very important issue.
 

Teddy

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#12
a guy at work shares his birthday with christmas day

i think he could be jesus

he doesn't have long hair but the hair he does have is grey, a sure indication he is of age and as we all know jesus is old too.
 

logikz

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#14
hey what do you think being dead is like. i heard its like being in the other room cept when you shout nobody answers.
 

Moskit

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#15
the last taxi shuttle from work goes at five and i fly at nine. got my packing with me and all just i didnt expect to spend that much time at the airport. you know theres only one thing to do at airports right. drinking. ill be off my face by the time i see my family and my mother will subsequently kill me. alternatively i could make my way there on my own of course but that would mean not following my initial plan and that would make my obsessive compulsive act up and thats usually not good at all. this is very important issue.
Mate, there are 2 things in life that truly scare me, large Spiders & flying...

For me, complete & utter annhialation through the consumption of obscene amounts of hard liqour is the only single way to get me near an aircraft.

Fuck your mum, get drunk & be merry.
 

logikz

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#16
well it is the season after all. nearly the 24th can you adam and eve it. gods i have so much work to do if im gonna get out of here in time. orrrrrrr stay on waffle, whatever its not like i can control it. im going to the airport to hang around in bars and stare at asians.
 

Moskit

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#17
Hey, when I took the mother-in-law to Gatwick for her to fly back to Jamaica, these cops with huge machine guns had like 2 dogs, after a while of watching them work, it was clear one was for sniffing out drugs & the other for explosives, so they were taking the drugs dogs around the blacks & scaggy looking whiteys & the explosives dogs around the asians & millitant african looking types.

Made me lol.
 

Forau

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#19
Hey, when I took the mother-in-law to Gatwick for her to fly back to Jamaica, these cops with huge machine guns had like 2 dogs, after a while of watching them work, it was clear one was for sniffing out drugs & the other for explosives, so they were taking the drugs dogs around the blacks & scaggy looking whiteys & the explosives dogs around the asians & millitant african looking types.

Made me lol.
Haha. Amazing.
 
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