Cheekiest Place you've had a knuckle shuffle ???

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by EWOKS, Apr 24, 2012.

  1. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2008
    Messages:
    7,410
    Likes Received:
    360
    Location:
    Portsmouth
    yh, completely HOMO thread...

    wheres the cheekiest place youve manged to buff the rifle ? ... or closest to being caught ...

    mines gotta be when i had a paper round, as a kid .. back in the day, we didnt have all this disposable internet porn at ure knuckles mercy ... it was strictly 2nd hand copies of Razzle from the 80's with pictures of women in with full on growlers ... anyway, seeing my opportunity as the local paperboy at 12/13 .. was delivering copies of the sun and the sport round some posh boy houses that circled round a park ..

    one thing comes to another .. ( remember i cant put this off till i get home and go on the net .. there was no net porn ) .. so as you are, horny as fuck, a wee nipper .. with number 45s copy of the sun .. page 3 .... decide tp sneak a quick peak as i gaze down into my fluorescent bag of mischief and bollock yoghurt potential ..

    shes a cracker ... 5 mins later im in the bush on the park, sat on a tree stump .. cock in my hand , paper open on the leaves, luminous yellow bag still over my shoulder.. shuffling away ..

    next thing i know some little collie cunting dog runs into the bush .. i panic .. put my half jizzy wang back in my pants .. look uner the twigs and see the walker .. must of heard or seen the paper bag .. so i sneak out the other side .. turn round and hes stood watching me walk of putting the sun back in the paper bag all flushed and out of breath ... and a semi poking out me pants no doubt .. anyway .. went and posted the jizzy paper after still .. and went about my day ..

    strangley enough, it was such a thrilling experience, and i thought if i can get away with it in that situation .. then its easy enough .. so i also cracked one out on the porch of someones house one day.. at 6 am sunday not many ppl about .. aslong as ure in no view of a window.. ure good to bash away ..

    i was the notorious wanking paperboy
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2012
  2. Toejam

    Toejam OOOBEY DOOBEY

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2007
    Messages:
    4,682
    Likes Received:
    361
    Location:
    Ipswich
    chopper bike, 9 years old i was, circled an old peoples home allotment, watched Doris un-earthing a parsnip and busted a big nut HARD, reverse peodo wank, i was ahead of the game back then
     
  3. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2009
    Messages:
    4,369
    Likes Received:
    3,765
    In my Nans Nightie.
     
  4. dirty breaks

    dirty breaks Guest

    fo rilly?
     
  5. dnbkingz

    dnbkingz bollocks

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2009
    Messages:
    4,767
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    Somewhere
    your mum's bed

    i am unoriginal tonight
     
  6. Catsel

    Catsel Well-Known Dismember

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2008
    Messages:
    16,325
    Likes Received:
    2,085
    i wanted to started this thread!

    i was stayin at this backpackers.. talkin to english girl online at bout 11pm here... shes masturbating.. any she goes to go on webcam. and something happens... its broken w/e.. so i ask her to finish off on thr phone... so i go outside with a lik spliff, and start listening to her moan n shit..

    anyways there was a fence nearby so i pretended to hav a piss n just bashed one out in the bush.

    which was nice.
     
  7. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,556
    Likes Received:
    2,520
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com
    not bad! mine is running through the corridors of my grandmothers flat with her in hot pursuit going 'kaaaaarl? kaaaa-aaarl? where has that boy gone off to now' i had to duck between rooms and hide behind coat racks, pants around knees akwardly hunched over jerking it the whole while.
     
  8. _MILLA

    _MILLA Flamboyant muthafucka

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2009
    Messages:
    1,228
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Abergavenny / Cardiff
    YES!!! this thread is my kinda thread.. not in a gay way tho.. in a manly lad bro way
    good one ethix.. being label'd the notorious wanking paper boy is funnier than being a sneezy wanker hahaha


    my input on this thread is my towns public toilets that used to be used for cottaging / in the travel lodge with my mum in the next bed..

    dont judge i was young and horny

    and not much has changed
     
  9. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,556
    Likes Received:
    2,520
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com
    wont judge milla. certainly not. this is well known homo thread. but im afraid i have to quote this, for posterity, you understand. haha im tempted to write omg. thrice.
     
  10. _MILLA

    _MILLA Flamboyant muthafucka

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2009
    Messages:
    1,228
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Abergavenny / Cardiff
    DO IT LOGIKZ!!

    i could use a chuckle b4 work!!!
     
  11. t345e

    t345e Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2011
    Messages:
    1,206
    Likes Received:
    122
    Location:
    Bristol
    Airport toilets. Got clocked by some Spanish security as I was in there for a suspiciously long time. I was mid-bash, solid wood.
     
  12. Freek

    Freek Lets get freeeeeeky

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2008
    Messages:
    3,111
    Likes Received:
    50
    Location:
    Kent, UK
    this isnt me, this is a good mate of mine but its such an appropriate story for the thread...

    He was off to Cuba with the family for 2 weeks of lazying around the pool in the sun and getting absolutely bladdered in the process.

    On the loooong flight he feels the need to pop one out in the plane toilet. So apprently 2 minutes in someone has knocked on the door and asked if anyone was in there. In pure shock he jumps up, smacks his head on the overhead part cracked his skull open, was rushed to hospital when they landed was all bandaged up but was not allowed any alcohol or swimming for the entire holiday, hence holiday ruined lol!!!

    So to make up for this, he told the flight company that he slipped on water on the bathroom floor which caused him to smack his head. he claimed several thousands of the insurance and got away with it loool! win!
     
  13. hyperd4eva

    hyperd4eva H&M SCARVES

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2008
    Messages:
    7,484
    Likes Received:
    464
  14. herojuana

    herojuana hairy kuala

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2009
    Messages:
    5,594
    Likes Received:
    948
    Location:
    London/Sheffield
    I got wanked off by some lass at a new years party in a room full of my friends while getting some stinky fingers.

    does that count?
     
  15. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,556
    Likes Received:
    2,520
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com
    no. not gay, ergo, does not count. sorry samuel. you will no be savaged by a wolf in sainsburys.
     
  16. ONSLAUGHT88

    ONSLAUGHT88 I sees ya I do I sees ya

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2010
    Messages:
    4,925
    Likes Received:
    98
    Location:
    The Northernmost Point of Kent, UK
    Not so sure on this one, but on the subject, the next generation will have no idea that snails eat porn
     
  17. richie_stix

    richie_stix gomby plz

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2008
    Messages:
    9,512
    Likes Received:
    298
    done that myself... nowincest... except replace travel lodge with hotel on holiday

    dont judge i was young and horny


    and in a hedge on a country road on the way home from school

    ---------- Post added at 11:33 ---------- Previous post was at 11:32 ----------

    hmm, perhaps i might have an 'accident' on my holiday
     
  18. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,556
    Likes Received:
    2,520
    Location:
    www.easternpromiseaudio.com
    ah yes, the wrongness is increasing steadily in this thread.
     
  19. Salvus

    Salvus Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2009
    Messages:
    622
    Likes Received:
    7
    I worked for sainsburys a good few years back. They were building a new store and me and this bird were sort of acting as security on a front desk before opening day (just us in the store).
    She was just so damn fit. I went upstairs and polished one off in the staff area. Haha. Came down feeling like the big man.
     
  20. $pyto

    $pyto Soundcloud changed everything

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2008
    Messages:
    4,999
    Likes Received:
    222
    Location:
    South-East London
    At school, bunking off from lessons in the 6th Form toilets (always empty). Probs a couple of times lol

    Plus at the first place I worked when I was 18-20. And at my current job lol. For some reason, if I have a massive booze up during the week and a dry night, then the next day I am RAGIN