chapter 2.

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by SIRUS, Aug 23, 2009.

  1. SIRUS

    SIRUS 変なひと

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    in a place far, far away (well actually at least 10-20 times further than 'far, far', but the amount of 'fars' i'd write
    would just seem silly so i'm just sticking to the two and hoping you just imagine the distance to a more precise acuracy than i'm willing, or able to explain in a short and simple sentence) in the distant sky of the pig farm was an anchored space shuttle containing the most courageous and most sexually alluring heroes from the future, who had travelled the galaxies and somehow gone back in time to 1951 in devon..

    luitenant o'hulou was getting her arse waxed by capt james t skyfarmer in the ships sex dungeon, she loved it,
    he was pounding her jet black shiny oversized buttocks with his lazer paddle whilst flexing his muscles to himself in the holographic 3d mirror, when she shouted 'prepare to launch the spray cannons.' on cue he set his fazer to cum, aiming at her swollen black nipples, she loved the sensation and came on cue, squirting what seemed enough to fill a half pint glass
    with a clear warm jet of bodyfluids. as always he announced, after catching the evacuated juice of laser love in a tankard, 'this is one small drink for a giant, but one extra large drink for a dwarf' before guzzling down the love-liquid she had emitted from her quivering quim. unexpectedly the electric sensor opened the door to their sex dungeon, and in stepped
    beef wang, the chinese engineer and martial arts expert. 'ahh for frucks sake, i no wanna see dis, why you no rock da door?' at this moment Capt skyfarmer turned to beef wang and ejaculated as he said 'we love the idea of getting caaauuuggghhhhtttt' hitting wang on the eyelid...

    'oh glosse, you neary brind me' said a disturbed beef wang 'me so rucky i have quick leactions, i crose eyes before your hefty man spackle face invasion!' he shouted angrily 'why, why, evertime i come here you do this? i want tlansfer to battlestar garractica as soon as possibre!'

    capt skyfarmer managed to calm beef wang as he had 47 times in the past (well... future, as they had just gone back in time, which really does make it confusing as it had now happened in the future, in their past. which just seems crazy) before they made thier way back to the ships bridge where dr spack, the half cockney, half falcon announced his discovery on his monitor. 'stone me, i've only gorn and found her aint i, guv, she's only facking 20 quontoids from cornwall, on a pig farm of all places' before making a 'raaaawwwwkkk' noise and biting the head off a field mouse.

    'are we too late!' shouted capt skyfarmer. 'i facking i reckon so, boss, she's probably like a plasters radio by now, son' spack said spitting blood whilst chewing.

    'nooooooooooooooooooooooo!' capt skyfarmer replied 'so our mission to stop young mildred skyfarmer from being impregnated, leading to a line of family that eventually lead to the birth of darth skyfarmer - the now imperial
    leader and biological father to me, that i only found out about after he dramatically announced it asking me to
    join his evil tennis club, then cutting my hand off so i don't win the intergaltic tennis championship when i refused - has failed!?'

    'pretty much my old china' said dr spack ' well, unless we just go back in time again to tommorah and have anotha crack, d'ya nah what i mean?' he continued.

    'ohhhh... well... we will do that then' said capt skyfarmer. 'o'hulou, back to the dungeon pronto, and beef wang,
    report to the dungeon in about 15 minutes!'

    beef wang sighed in reply 'yes captain.' before asking scotty if he could borrow his ski mask.

    ...meanwhile back on the pig farm the whippets were getting out of hand and sexually harrassing the japenese business men, but it was ok as they liked it and thought it was just part of the show. probably would have even paid extra for it, the saucy buggers.
     
  2. 1995ting

    1995ting Active Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2009
  3. BDS

    BDS Active Member

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    ^^^ lol


    that gif geezer gets me every time.
     
  4. 1995ting

    1995ting Active Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  5. Indi

    Indi Tha Original ThreadKilla!

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    "....meanwhile, furious for not winning Best Post, Sirus hastily prepares for next year's DNBForum Awards...."
     
  6. Fes Rock

    Fes Rock Nothing..........

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    (n)
     
  7. Fes Rock

    Fes Rock Nothing..........

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    BEEF WANG!

    :applause: thread of the century imho
     
  8. Lunos

    Lunos Active Member

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  9. SIRUS

    SIRUS 変なひと

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    good, that way you won't notice the hideous shit i wrote about your mum.

    :clown:
     
  10. BDS

    BDS Active Member

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    I have 3 words for you sirus...



    HIP - HOP - MIX ?
     
  11. Fes Rock

    Fes Rock Nothing..........

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  12. Fes Rock

    Fes Rock Nothing..........

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  13. Fes Rock

    Fes Rock Nothing..........

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    compelling, griping tale of.......im not sure what exactly. some type of loose women and several sex deprived star wars geeks.

    the beef of the story had me gripping on to my corduroy slacks with a somewhat husk knob. but the end, what a cliffhanger, as if to say 'yea mothefucker you read it, now take that shit bitch"!


    [​IMG]
     
  14. Borf™

    Borf™ Borf

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    haha, this was hilarious.
     
  15. TongueFlap

    TongueFlap Flappin'

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    that was deffo worth the read. Cheers Sirus, when is part 3?
     
  16. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    I am madly & deeply in love with you.