Brushes With The Law and Pranks Gone Wrong

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by jmzmaloney, Feb 14, 2010.

  1. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    So one day at work I see this Kenyan dude go into a chiller at work. So I got a red strap and hooked the door handle to another one so he couldnt get out. 2 minutes later theres lots of banging on the door I just laugh my bollow off. 3 minutes later I open the door and this girl comes storming out crying and runs straight upstairs. After proceedings turns out the guy was grabbing her tits and putting his hands up her skirt. Guy gets sacked and I get a final written warning. 5 days later I'm woken at 5am with 4 police cars in my cul de sac and police in the back garden, and get arrested for false imprisonment. I got my dad down as my solicitor but the other guy had to get one appointed so spent all day waiting for his to turn up. Spent the next 3 months on bail but it was found the girl had psychological problems, and the case was dropped.

    Moral of the story is never lock a Kenyan anywhere.
     
    richie_stix likes this.
  2. Radius

    Radius Give me back my passport u slags

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  3. rob_del_terror

    rob_del_terror - ̿ ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε

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    hahahahahaha. don't think i can top that.
     
  4. herojuana

    herojuana hairy kuala

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    that is amazing mate! you are a true hero
     
  5. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    I'd like to be locked in a room with you, a psychologically disturbed girl, a Kenyan & 1/2 oz of bad Speed with the theme tune to webuyanycar.com on repeat.
     
  6. Catsel

    Catsel Well-Known Dismember

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    me n my mates once stole some canoes from a local abandoned house to go down the river once in the summer.... the owners saw us and called police. we were chased by police, helicopter & dogs while doin bout 2mph down this river laughing!

    the police had to wait till we crossed with a road to get us lol that was fun (y)

    when we did get nicked, we spent the next 14 hours in newbury nick, shouting at each other clearing up our story! :p when we got get out, we all had to walk fuckin ages home in just them bright yellow joggin bottoms lol and all cos of a lil fun with boats
     
  7. dnb in ya face

    dnb in ya face Loud and Dirrrty

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    Me and a mate were having a little smoke and it was pretty cold so we decided to make a little fire. Being complete idiots and pretty high we tried making it as big as possible, for fun. Unfortunetly we were in a farmers pad and we were right next to a load of hay bails under shelter. It was a windy day and our, very crap, fire got so big it started blowing around in the wind. The embers got onto the big load of hay and set alight. We thought we would be able to put it out, but I cant believe how quickly it went up in flames. Obviously we legged it!! Not really a prank, more like a "fire gone wrong"
     
  8. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    this one kid i knew would always do stupid shit and get caught. he fed a much younger kid rat poison and just went home and played playstation. stole a sailing boat from the local sailing school, lost controll of it and had to be rescued by the coast guard. kid wasnt stupid just very naive and bored a lot of the time. but he quit school when he was like 15 cos he kept on getting in trouble and couldnt really face the world after damn shame.
     
  9. hyperd4eva

    hyperd4eva H&M SCARVES

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    i once put my hampster in a pillow and got bnoth nds and yanked them apart as hard as i could.. this sent herbie suumersaulting in the air like a gymnastic hamster! i would then catch him back on the pillow. untill one day it went wrong and he flipped forward instead of up and smacked himself on a door handle and fell to his death.

    he had a massive lump on his arse where he fell so i went downstairs and told my mum it doed of bum cancer!
     
  10. muzzadj

    muzzadj POW!

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    you arsehole! haha funny though!
     
  11. muzzadj

    muzzadj POW!

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    Used to do alot of stupid shit mainly involving fireworks. Never had anything go seriously wrong but got VERY close one time when i decided to put one of those 'cake' fireworks that shoots out loads inside someones greenhouse. Stupidly i shut the door behind me in pitch black and i lit the fuse, turned round to run outside but just ran into glass where i had shut the door and couldn't see because it was pitch black, was shitting my pants and just couldnt find the door and could see the fuse getting lower and lower but managed to escape literally just in time. as i shut the door they all started blowing up was absolutely hilarious! Also blew up a dog shit bin and covered a load of my mates in flying turd and firework which was hilarious!
     
  12. greddie

    greddie Super Sir Loin

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    someone who isnt me, and a bunch of mates, who arent anything to do with me.... broke into an old nursing home in a village no where near mine, cracked a window open to start, the place was empty, so we picked a room at the top and smoked out hard in there, over the next few weeks, we moved to other rooms so to keep it clean and that, but then madness decended and we ended up kicking a hole through a wall to get to another part of the house, (to get to this othr part u had to shimmy up into a loft space, accross and then through the kicked hole) once in the other part we opened a window to get in and out without the mission...
    .... we smoked out so super hard in that place, all the time. it was mad...
    then one day three guys with golf clubs showed up outside and were shouting at us.... sorry, shouting at the ppl in the house who definatley wernt me and my mates... they "guarded" the window and wouldnt let us out, they waited for the poloice to show... we were shitting it. hid a couple of bongs, a massive "ashtray" and other smoking shit in the hole in the wall in some loft insulation....
    lucky for the people who broke in, the police bought a story that "we had heard the place was empty and used for social gatherings, so we came here to drink some underage booze and didnt realise we were doing wrong, we didnt kick the wall in or make first contact to this place"
    the police bought it and SWIM walked out with a half ounce in his shoes and socks,
    everyone got awayw it.... then 2 months later they started to demolish the whole building to mkae way for new houses.....

    ....and that was the story of how i lost my first bong..... oh wait, that wasnt the point of this story
     
  13. richie_stix

    richie_stix gomby plz

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    quality....

    when i was 16, doing my GCSE's... me and my mates were sat around watching porn & smoking weed after our spanish exam when one of us decided it would be fun to engage in some illegal activity! we had always planed to rob the local cricket so we tooled up and set off for the place!

    one of my mates pussied out before we got there, so we were down to four of us... two of them pussied out on the actual breaking in bit so it was up to me and my mate lunk to get us in! after trying to be real careful and prise a window open to get to a lock, we broke a window pane accidently and just thought fuck it so stormed in to be confronted by a locked door and a security shutter :(

    not to be disheartened, we tried bashing the lock on the door with the back end of an axe, but that didn't work so we just cut the door down with the axe instead! by this point my two other mates had maned up and come in just as me and lunk had got in and started filling our pockets... we took all the booze we could carry, as well as a load of fags and munch and the tip jar!

    we took off cross country, traversing fields, hedges rivers and fences till we got to the safety of my mates house where we thought we were safe... s

    everal days later (the following monday), still feeling very proud of ourselves we all met before our science exam and my mate dan announces the cops came round his house in conjunction with a burglary of tichborne cricket club! suffice to say, i thought he was winding me up, but the look in my other two mates eye said different... he had sung like a canary, and to say i was shitting myself would be saying the least!

    so i waited and i waited, on edge at home... evey car that went by or every time the phone went caused me to shit myself! and eventualy on the thursday the cops come round, and asked me if i wanted to tell my rents or if they did... so i told em, and it was fucking horrible! the whole, were not angry, just dissapointed, except we are fucking angry and even more fucking pissed off!

    anyways, we got off with caution or something that lasted five years!

    to be honest though, getting caught was probably for the best as we were getting more and more daring with our little crime spree's and i think this nipped it in the bud just at the right time!
     
  14. SLow

    SLow Quadrospazzed life-glug

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    I told my mate that if you drop a match into a jerry can full of petrol it won't ignite, he decided to drop the match and stand with his head over the hole checking for any signs of fire.

    Obviously the match ignited the vapour in the top of the jerrycan as the lid had been off for a while, and said matey is now missing a pair of eyebrows.

    One of the funniest moments of my life was his face in shock as his eyebrows were reduced to smouldering cinders.
     
  15. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Staff Member

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    [​IMG]:
     
  16. alz

    alz compress to impress

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    my mates painted the school cricket pavilion pink under the cover of darkness.

    year above me wrote "dr lowe (our headteacher at the time) smokes blow" on the field in weed killer in fuckin huge letters the day of year 6 induction.

    we let rats out in assembly, that was pretty jokes.

    used to always throw fireworks/deoderant cans in the bonfire, that was ridiculous!

    these kids made this SICK bass in this massive hedge, i mean it was some crazy lord of the flies construction thing, had like 3 floors and we found it so we used to smoke up in it, naturally one day we were gonna cross paths with the makers and they were little shits, started threatening us with sticks, so we torched the whole place, shame really cos it was a really sick place to smoke in, they even waterproofed it, must've taken months to build.
     
  17. PhorceOfHabit

    PhorceOfHabit Seldom

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    :lol:

    Sounds like the other night when we got back and drunkenly decided to light fireworks off the hob before running around the house scaring the shit out of our other housemates then firing them out the back door. Almost went VERY wrong when my housemate started trying to shut the glass door to the conservatory, lucky we spotted her or I'd have been straight into a glass door with a firework blowing my forehead off.

    My mate tried to fire a firework out of his arse last bonfire night when we went for a massive fireworks fight under a railway bridge in some country road near us. It didn't come out and pretty much blew up while still attached to him :lol: Was allright other than a few singed arse hairs though.

    Our last day of sixth form we went back to school at night for a load of pranks and various mischief (was about 40 of us) and it ended up with a massive police chase through Cassiobury Park in Watford with about 30 pigs coming after us on motorbikes, foot and some cars in the park haha. Everyone got away, but we stupidly drove back a few hours later to check it all out and just as we pulled into the road got ambushed by undercover police. There was 14 cars full of us and each car ended up getting pulled by a seperate undercover car o_O That's a lot of police lol.