Brazilian Conjoined Twins Getting Down To Bob Marley

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by jmzmaloney, Sep 2, 2015.

  1. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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  2. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    of all the ways twins could be conjoined, that there has to be the worst. the connected head/shared brain is even preferable to that.

    they are groovin though, sure like that reggae, i dont think i knew the lyrics of a single song when i was that age. the top one is feelin it, like his face is totally groovin, really immersed, and the bottom one is singing the words.

    like always when it comes to things like this, i have to wonder whos in charge of what.
    this is of course only important with those female conjoined twins from america. think one gets like the vag? and the other the butt? bit unfair any way you look at it tbh, but i really do think it works something like that.

    you know some jerk will end up marrying those girls, right? the only conjoined twin in the world, ever to pull that off. or what, it could be my history is off here, dont know too much about it.

    but if "pony", the shaved orang-utan prostitute from borneo could not only pull, but get paid for sex, in fact, that ape was the pimps bottom bitch (you did read about this right? http://www.vice.com/read/yo1-v14n10)
    it says they shaved her every 2nd day, wreaking havoc with her follicles, and the mozzies would get at her something fierce at night, that along with them dressing her up in necklaces and rings made her a monstrous sight to behold indeed, yet ill bet i fucked something human a thousand times as foul, anyway, point being, i want to see a picture of pony. what does a shaved orang-utan even look like ffs
     
  3. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    Wait, it says that she could pick winning lottery numbers, surely they would cherish her if she could do that rather than fuck her, unless she only gave up the numbers after getting rogered. If only the ape could put the numbers on herself she wouldn't be in this mess. Can apes play the lottery in Indonesia? Didn't Johnny Depp bang an ape in Fear & Loathing? No, but it was insimuated though, right?

    This is Pony

    [​IMG]
     
  4. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    thats. pony.

    not the least bit sexually exciting, and doesnt look in the slightest like the rabid black plauge burn victim i had in mind. now that wouldve been worth fucking.

    besides, did you read what it said? in a PROSTITUTE VILLAGE what in the fuck is a "prostitute village"??? like the lilliput land??? or something out the fuck of that big flappy ear elephant that can fly? wonder if theyd fuck that.

    also, thats pony?? you couldnt call that very well shaven, as such, could you?? its barely shaved at all ffs! and wheres the tantalizing necklaces!!

    but to return to the idea of a lawless land (borneo is hardly a fucking island, its more like a continent for gods sake) with prostitute villages, where they prostitute fucking bigfoots??

    come to think of it, im pretty sure at least two or three of my ex's were shaved bigfoots. no amount of plastic surgery that can cover that shit up. none. but could they prostitute an elephant?

    just paint it pink i guess, put a wig on it
     
  5. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    It kind of defeats the object of being a prostitute if everyone in the village is a prostitute. The money just goes round in circles, never able to spend it. Maybe that's why they have to rely on the lottery money the Orangutan provides so they can at least get some food. Unless its a village lottery and then they spend it on prostitutes. Where the hell is this village sound like a bunch of morons
     
  6. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    you know, id like to know that too, bet we could make a bundle in that fucking zoo, get drunk on arraks and yaba, then come jocking the main street in that bitch with our ipods and waveboards, slappin hoes like john mcenroe, bet thatd teach them to prostitute bambi.

    then pose as professors and teach billy ocean lyrics. spend that money on flaming lamborghinis. id totally fuck bambi.

    why arent i drunk
     
  7. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    Set up our own zoo, cut out the middleman, trawl bars for unsuspecting victims, when you have a customer, slip em some high strength acid, tell them the girls are in the park, but take the John to the zoo, in with the Orangutans, Chimps, Rhino's. Wakes up in the morning like American Werewolf In London scratching his head with animals winking at him. But I'd prefer Aaron Neville playing if I'm honest, guy wakes up sore ass, still tripping a little bit with this playing over the tannoy

     
  8. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    Ok but seeing as this is a dnb forum (apparently) i demand we get dillinjas tannoys. They go several counts lower than lemon ds
     
  9. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    God I may actually die from this hangover...

    Being sick out your nose is simply soul destroying.
     
  10. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    Havent you got any booze at hand, I woke up with a hangover necked a glass of wine, now I'm fine, contemplating getting some more
     
  11. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    I did that last weekend & it just made me worse, usually does the trick though as you say...

    Hangovers for me are starting to become like really bad comedowns now, fear of dying/impending doom, inability to keep any liquid or food down, hideous abdominal & kidney pains...

    I get scared to get too pissed cus the fallout is so fucking terrible these days.
     
  12. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    Yeah it was bad advice, I've drank a bottle and a half now, feeling tipsy, and theres another bottle and I know that aint gunna last long. I've got a terrible Monday on the horizon

    The worst is the heart palpatations, lying on the bed with your hand on your heart hoping it don't stop.
     
  13. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    Yeah i'm lucky i've got a really easy day tomorrow, boss is on holiday + I leave at the end of the month so generally don't give a flying fuck...

    Only prob is they have started random piss testing at work now & I know i'm on their hit list, the amount of times i've been in hideous states at work i'm surprised I still have a job.

    Just about subsided the hangover, just kept down some Fried Chicken & managed to get the mrs to give me a pokey bum wank, so things are looking up.

    Just gotta steer clear of the half bottle of wray & neph left in my car...
     
  14. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    I don't worry about that, haven't worked in 4 months, got made redundant with a healthy redundancy package, getting bored now though, drink intake is going up, just sit looking at the walls most days, contemplating my next move
     
  15. Moskit

    Moskit :rodigan: Staff Member

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    It should involve you wearing more tweed suits, thats for sure...
     
  16. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    My tweed game is strong, I didn't get laughed at once which I was fully expecting, it is very liberating, tweed.

    Look. I'm the only dapper, I should have stormed off when the others didn't make the effort

    [​IMG]