best way to deal with betty swallocks in this weather?

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Binary_UK, Jul 18, 2013.

  1. Binary_UK

    Binary_UK Binary.

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    Anyone got any tips, on the 2 showers a day flex but if I'm out and about it is normally testicle soup down there by mid day, it then proceeds to them sticking to the insides of my thighs which is quite long. I do perspirate quite a lot down in that region as it is but with the weather being hotter than Satans fireplace I am suffering, is talc powder a good shout would you say?
     
  2. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    good question buddy, whats your name? can you do the cooking dance like lil b? i was at this festival with my mates this weekend and they were playing mainly trap, and at one point i was shouting SWAG SWAG SWAG SWAG at hans (who looked nonplused to say the least) when some guy shows up out of nowhere and goes OH REALLY, SWAG IS IT?! WEEEEEEEEELL THEN! PROVE IT, SHOW ME YOUR SWAG SKILLS and i dont know what he expected but i think we were supposed to have a cook off, then a jerk off and then pencil drop and then swag walk and so it was that we got challenged on the dancefloor by a swaggot with a facial tattoo and all, but, heres where he went wrong, were not some iphod tcp/ip hotspot world of warcraft b2b all the trap kind f guys. were carbon based life forms. carbon. ara. carbonara. thats the good shit, i can make a mean carbonara, trust you me. shouldnt be cooking with that much carbs really, trying to get cut for the swimwear season, so you know, less carbs, less calories. but what happened was that hans did a dance that will go down in history as one of the most retarded things ever to happen on q dancefloor, it was truly impressive, and all the while completely dead pan expression in the face , thrusting madly, gesticulating, throwing shapes, doing gang signs and gun finger, going into a bit of running man and then a furious ska punk skank, ending in a b-boy stance with the arms crossed over the chest expertly timed completely off beat and in no way related to the music or anyne else. the dude looked perplexed at first, then went irate, on his way to actually offended but reined it in as best as he could and landed on industrial strength anrgy but couldbnt keep it up for very long as he lacked motivation to feed his anger, he didnt know why it was he felt so slighted and settled for exasperated with some indignation on the side, so he screwed up his face mumbled something liek " look ok you havev to check for youtube first you cant just say swag and then youre not doing it right at all, its liek youre, you cant just do like that on trap rhubarbrhubarbrhubarbrhubarb" sighing and yelping intermittently, and then he wobbled off, and im not sure but i got the impression he did not quite want to be on this planet as much as he did just a few moment before.

    tldr (for jack) trap is shit and some guy called us on it, but blew his high in the process.

    and i agree, partly our fault, we shouldnt have been shouting swag like that, give people the wrong idea, were shit old after all. yjrkk and trap is shit. i mean its fun for a few hours in a club night maybe, but a full day of trap is enough to make anybody yearn for george micahel, and not even fro his "older" album, im talking careless whisper, last chistmas i gave you my heart but the very next day you ga gave it away, oooh and freedom from listen without prejudice, all those super models in the video +












    ö++++++
    emotion
     
  3. Dugg Funnie

    Dugg Funnie Well-Known Member

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    Assuming you're wearing shorts, leave the zipper open. Think about it like when you leave the door and a window open in a room.

    ;) enjoy your cool, dry ballsack.
     
  4. Dagz

    Dagz Well-Known Member

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    Lose the underwear and shave your pubes off for best results
     
  5. rysk

    rysk Part-time waster

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    cotton boxers.

    tight ones that cup your shit.


    then pics pl0x.
     
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  6. danwell

    danwell BAAAAAAAAAAAAABE WAIT

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    Cut ur ballz offm7
     
  7. Catsel

    Catsel Well-Known Dismember

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    YES LOGARKZZZZZ HAZ DOLAN BEAK (y)


    as for balls.. let 'um stank. chicks love it.
     
  8. Binary_UK

    Binary_UK Binary.

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    Thx for the advice guys, going commando today
     
  9. D-Jhepz

    D-Jhepz ◕‿◕

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    didnt read, but if im not wearing jeans im always commando, every morning telcom powder lurrevly and shave man
     
  10. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    my diving instructor told us it was ok to go commando under your dry suit, and when i came up after my decompression dive and unzipped, i had cammo shorts and cammo tee, by complete coincidence you understand (i used to try to dress dnb, and being that there really isnt any official rules as to how to dress dnb, you have to make it up yourself, and my idea of looking dnb was

    a. futuristic looking high tech sports gear, i noticed quite often running gear would qualify, and skate gear quite often ouldnt
    b. bit baggy, a bit proper, of course record label t-shirts and army looking stuff in general and
    c. cammo, mainly cammo. cammo on everything.

    so on laundry day (thats the day you run out of clothes to wear and is now left with no choice other than to do the laundry), which i frequently ignored, when there was nothing clean in the entire house, i would quite often wind up wearing top to toe cammo and other army styled stuff. which looks completely retarded and they say its a sure sign of early stages of insanity when you start dressing in army gear for no reason.
    this one time i was on the tram, in full cammo when two american tourists, stoned out their mind, sit down in the seats right across from mine. they mustve been like early 20s and from the west coast somewhere (and i base that on absolutely nothing only they looked kind of surf-y) so after a few stops, one says to the other, who is eating some bizare dutch pastry which looked like a happy carbohydrate cloud of cream and jam "dude what if you like wore so much cammo you actually disappeared... and like... people would be all like duuuuuude, whered you gooooooo". the tram was packed with people and very quiet just when he said it, of course. it was probably quite well thought out and neatly phrased in his head, only his brain was frazzled from the dutch weed, so he forgot i was there or rather where the idea came from, and then he totally bungled the execution, and it came out sooo hilariously stoney maloney clueless tourist wonky.
    his mate, looking at me, froze up, realizing what had just happened, the cannabis paranoia was kicking in on all cylinders, and i could tell what he was thinking. here is this mentalist dressed in all cammo, and his mate is making fun of him right in front of him like he doesnt exist, on a scary tram in scary european amsterdam.) and the diving instructor scoffed and said thats not what i meant with commando, you stupid swedish jerk. it was in norway you see.

    could probably have worded that story alot better but im all dizzy from the lack of sleep, so things like tempus, genus, and parenthesises have all stopped working.
     
  11. Dannyboy93

    Dannyboy93 EL CAPITAIN

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    It's posts like this which see me through those long days at work haha
     
  12. Subjekt Music

    Subjekt Music Well-Known Member

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    You're bollocks are gonna be in an Arnold Schwarzanegger movie?
     
  13. Teddy

    Teddy 60% Staff Member

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    this actually exists.
    you can thank grubbers.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 12, 2015
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  14. Binary_UK

    Binary_UK Binary.

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    Yea, thought I'd testes the theory
     
  15. Rusket

    Rusket Mix an blend

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    no
     
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  16. t345e

    t345e Well-Known Member

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    Talcum powder.
     
  17. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    potato flouer, in the arse, applied liberally, and by teds mother. she would do that for him until he was 28, but then he did gain alooooooot of weight and he would get an arse rash otherwise, specially in summer. and winter.
     
  18. PhorceOfHabit

    PhorceOfHabit Seldom

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    Logikz; maybe it's just these herbs & hops but you seem to be on particularly fine form in this thread.
     
  19. Binary_UK

    Binary_UK Binary.

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    Karl always has me in stitches, very funny man
     
  20. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    thank you men, i errr... i slept from friday to sunday, this has been my weekend. really need to start planning these things a little better.