Bernards watch.

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Fire starter, Apr 20, 2011.

  1. Fire starter

    Fire starter Active Member

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    Bernards watch is a childrens tv show where the main character(Bernard) has a watch that can pause time.

    Bernard being a little boy doesn't use this watch to it's full potential.

    What dastardly things would you un coothed youths get upto if you had a watch that could pause and re start time at your comand

    Me and a good friend managed to talk about this subject for 4 hours one evening. Whilst being quite baked.




    Your in a bar and you can't take your eyes off the fine piece of ass at the bar.(she has a hench boyfriend beside her)
    He notices you checking her out. So he makes some remark along the lines of "have you got a problem mate"

    To which you reply " yeah you, ya prick"

    The bar goes silent.

    He storms towards you to lay you out on the floor.
    You go to throw the first punch and press the pause button just before your fist makes contact.

    You quickly run along to the nearest golf shop and pick up a golf club head back to the bar.

    Take s swing at his face then hide the club.

    Un pause time with your fist touching the mess you just made of his face.

    He hits the deck knocked out and covered in blood

    Your now the hardest guy in the pub.

    And you walk away with his girl

    Bi wining
     
  2. hyperd4eva

    hyperd4eva H&M SCARVES

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    Id definately just tickle her fanny and then wank.
     
  3. spiderfran286

    spiderfran286 "Yes, squid pro roe..."

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    yeah id just stop time and undress all the women....
     
  4. Fire starter

    Fire starter Active Member

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    You could bend her over the bar
    Take her down the dirt track
    Splurt all over her ass
    Then get dressed and un pause time
     
  5. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    but youre not thinking straight, cos even if it seems like time is standing still its not, its just slowed down, infinitely. so once youve swung that golf club and started time again, a golf club swung with full force quick as lightning will cause his whole body to explode and quite probably set the rest of the place on fire. did that go like you thought it would? i dont think so.
     
  6. Fire starter

    Fire starter Active Member

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    I'm such a noob at this time pausing lark :/
     
  7. hyperd4eva

    hyperd4eva H&M SCARVES

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    could do... but masterbating is easier and quicker. i kno what i like
     
  8. Fire starter

    Fire starter Active Member

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    Every morning when I wake up for work I would hit the pause straight away.
     
  9. Subjekt Music

    Subjekt Music Well-Known Member

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    It would defo have to be a wank over the face/tits scenario
     
  10. Fire starter

    Fire starter Active Member

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    I also would try re arranging everyone in the room into sexual positions and un pause and say suprise sex
     
  11. pitts

    pitts Member

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    I understand your logical thinking but it was written for a KIDS tv show and was just used as gimic to base the show around, the op also using this gimic is just trying to say in an imaginary world if you had the ability to stop time like in the tv show what would you do

    i would stop time when i wanted to sleep so you can spend all the extra time getting better at djing/production, would probably steal a lot and possibly turn into a serial rapist because who would know, as long as long you used a condom
     
  12. Sammy_Dodger

    Sammy_Dodger Mr Ed

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    bit like the film 'click'
     
  13. Fire starter

    Fire starter Active Member

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    My boss drives a Porsche 911 gt2

    So through out the work day I would take it for little joy riding sessions to Scotland and back.
     
  14. Sammy_Dodger

    Sammy_Dodger Mr Ed

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    fart in david hasslehoffs mouth
     
  15. Freek

    Freek Lets get freeeeeeky

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    more like take a shit considering he's used to it spurting out of his mouth
     
  16. Sammy_Dodger

    Sammy_Dodger Mr Ed

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    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 12, 2015
  17. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    nuh uh. exploding golf club, pub on fire. logical thinking or gtfo. and kids can shut up as far as im concerned there should be labia lifts every fifteen minutes.
     
  18. Thin and crispy

    Thin and crispy Active Member

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    I'd shag her n get her pregnant then take the hit from her fella.
    In my own scenario i'd probably pause time to take a shit mid way thru a mix, and cos my shits can be quite long sometimes i'd probably forget time is paused, get used to it, and then leave things that way.

    ---------- Post added at 14:33 ---------- Previous post was at 14:33 ----------

    labia lifts as in the nip tuck kind?

    sometimes in day to day life if its quiet i think time is paused anyways
     
  19. richie_stix

    richie_stix gomby plz

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    dont get me started on this... i have dreamt about this since i was 15... lets say my main intentions are theft, rape, and humiliating unsuspecting tools
     
  20. Jwood27

    Jwood27 VICTIM

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    any bloke who has this scenario and doesn't mention molesting a female of any kind is clearly lying.

    obviously you'd just be the worlds biggest pervert. and also rob everyone and spend all the money on good things. simple