im liking it
but you desperately need some stereo in that man. is the whole thing mono right now? sounds like it to me
and also maybe some subtle atmospheric reverby stuff to give some impression of space.. whole things sounding a bit flat right now
but yeah, add some stuff to pad out the intro, EQ stuff so everything has it's place
the bass stab in particular could do with some nice EQ, some stereo. personally id get that sorted then bounce the stabs and bring them in as quiet top layer with some distortion on it, maybe put it through a guitar amp or some shit, just for a thin layer of grit and character. for more info on this you could check out Spectrasoul's computer music video, IIRC they do something to that effect with a bass hook
don't listen to the poster above, im guessing he's unsure about the sort of vibe you were aiming for
but yeah good start man