Discussion in 'Advertisements' started by sara2005, Oct 26, 2005.

  1. sara2005

    sara2005 New Member

    Oct 2, 2005
    Likes Received:
    Friday is the new Thursday, ladies and gentlemen, and that’s a stone-cold, smell-my-fingers fact. This isn’t just some crazy theory that we’ve cooked up while off our heads on Malibu, Jif and opium down the pub, but an actual, scientifically-verified truth. You don’t believe us? Well, prepare to eat very hairy humble pie, you doubty dog you.* *

    For the last twelve months we’ve been in regular close consultation with Professor Sven Van Doctor O’Science of the Berlin Institute of Weekday Slippage, and this is what he told us (if you don’t speak German you may need somebody who can to translate this for you): “Achtung! Ze problem, you zee, is qvite zimple. Ze whole veek haz tilted to ze lefft, cauzing ze Friday to slide into ze Surzdee. It’z eine grozze tragedy.”* *

    It’s hard to take in, we know. Breath slowly. Count to ten. Walk about a bit; have a cup of tea; take in a furious power-wank if you think that might help. But you do need to come to terms with the fact that Thursday is now Friday, Friday is Saturday, and Sunday is no longer neither here nor there – neither fish nor foo-foo, to put it in layman’s terms.*

    So what can be done about this bewildering slip in the time-space continuum? Should you perhaps build some kind of hermetically sealed, time-resistant shelter under your house, or maybe cover your underbollocks in foil at midnight every Wednesday? No. Fret not, you sexy oaf, for help is at hand. Like a kindly uncle who drunkenly touches you up at Christmas, we’re here to help you through this confusing time by offering all the sights, sounds and sordid sexual sensations that you’d normally experience on a Thursday evening – but a whole 24 hours later.* *

    What are we talking about? Our peerless monthly knees-up BarKnowledge, of course, its moved to Fridays. Where can this event be found? At the very welcoming Cafe 1001, to be sure. And why should you go there? Because the souful, jazzy drum & bass will be flowing like fine wine, the fine wine will be flowing like hot shampoo, and everybody there is dead fit and will probably try and touch your special area. But most importantly of all, if you don’t join us this Friday night we can’t guarantee that you won’t wake up quite, quite dead come Saturday morning. Remember: Friday is the new Thursday. Either get used to it, or book yourself a plot at the graveyard right now, bubba. Think on, and think on long and hard while you’re at it. Good day to you. Don’t have nightmares. Goodbye. Bye.*

    BarKnowledge is now back to FRIDAY's
    (The last Friday of every month)
    now at Cafe 1001, Dray walk (Off Brick Lane) London E1
    8pm-12pm FREE ALL NIGHT LONG!!

    Essential Liquid Blends For The Weekend!!

    28th October: SLB, Hayze, Haze, Silva*D