Anyone here make over $12/hour?

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Claus601, Feb 24, 2016.

  1. Claus601

    Claus601 Custom Title

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  2. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    Fuck sake! Claudes turned into a bot
     
  3. IV4

    IV4 Currently a newt.

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    Maybe Claud is a bot, and we are in the test subjects of a Turing test. Oh Akismet save us!
     
  4. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Staff Member

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    There were teachings of the great Akismet that prophecised a user would one day sign up and that they would have the power to bring balance to the forum or destroy it...
     
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  5. Claus601

    Claus601 Custom Title

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    Last edited: Feb 25, 2016
  6. $marty

    $marty Dexcell Staff Member

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    Claud
    R u a bot?
    B honest
     
  7. Claus601

    Claus601 Custom Title

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    Last night I had a dream that i was smoking marijuana again, and it was a really good experience. (in the dream)

    back when i was like 18 I used to smoke pot, never bought it except once (and got ripped off) I would smoke it at parties with the hippies i worked with. At one point I was watching "Yellow Submarine" at one of their "gatherings", and it was just the most amzing shit I ever saw; I was spellbound!

    Then I moved in with this really short little girl (i mean she was 18, but just really tiny) I didn't really know her, just some girl that worked at the factory my dad managed. She was bipolar and fucking crazy. We hung out like once at her old apartment, and her cousin/ex roommate dropped by to threaten her life with a kitchen knife. Her response was something like "fuck you, kill me then, bitch!"

    So that was cool, and then we moved in together. Our first night in the new place, we didn't have electric yet, so the landlord let us run an extension chord from the next apartment over. She had one joint, we smoked half of it, and were hallucinating heavily. She'd failed to mention that she got the joint from her cousin (y'know, the one threatening to kill her, earlier?) Her face turned into wooden legos, I watched the wall paper racing across the walls, watched this big flying insect dancing on the ceiling with it's legs bending into spirals. Fun times. Probably PCP. Then a bit later (as i was coming down) I freaked the fuck out, thought I was gonna have a heart attack, woke up everyone in the building trying to get someone to call 911 or some shit, ultimately chilled the fuck down a little and hungout in our landlord's apartment with his son (about my age) Everything was just a little surreal; reality felt surreal. I had to ask him if the fruit basket on the table was really there, really real. He said, uh, yeah dude, its a real fruit basket. Ok good, cool. It just seemed weird to see a basket of brightly coloured fruit, for some reason. Like something out of a brightly lit commercial, come to life, here in this shitty apartment building. So yeah, that's how we met the neighbours. They turned out to be mostly white trash druggies, so that worked out, i guess.

    The place had cockroaches, and bats and giant slugs all the time. The police would come by every single night, because chances are they would be needed for some silly bullshit. One time a huge fire truck was in the parking lot; which I found amusing, since I could barely get my 78 lincoln up that narrow ass hill drive and into the place. The reason the fire truck showed up, this one kid in the other building had decided to walk down the hill, get a gallon milk jug full of gasoline from the marathon station, come back and start huffing it in his apartment. They had to put an industrial size fan in the doorway, and made him wear an oxygen mask (which he loved; it was like a whole other cool buzz for him)

    Me and Angel (my short, bipolar roommate) would hangout with the ppl downstairs. This one guy was dating the older lady that lived there. Basically she was his sugar momma. And his younger brother started dated angel. And then they had this other friend that paid me some money to live in my bedroom closet, with his girlfriend. I mean it was a pretty nice closet, I put a twin bed mattress down in there, and a fan.

    But they liked to fuck with me whenever i'd get high. Tell me it was dosed and shit when it wasn't. One time they turned out the lights real quick, and put a big sheet of duck tape over my face, for fun. Other than that we would sit around watching Bevis and Butthead all day, while I would watch them laughing at the show, thinking to myself how remarkably similar they all looked, to the cartoon characters we we're watching. "huh-huh" "uh-huh-huh!" "huh!"

    One day, I came outside. There was this poor bat lying on the hood of an old camaro in the hot sun; clearly suffering. So i flopped it into a really big glass jar, with a stick, and decided to make it a pet. When I wasn't home they set it free; told me it had mites. It probably did, and probably better off in the wild, if it even survived. Who knows?

    At some point, I drove back to my hometown all the way back in illinois to hang out with some friends there. On the way back it was late, so i decided to buy some "trucker speed" and some mountain dew and coca-cola.
    so I took 11 effedrine pills on the 4 or 5 hour drive home. I fell asleep. I woke up doing about 50mph in the grass median. That woke me up quick, and then suddenly my heart was racing, all the way home. I felt sick, afraid to over exert myself, scared i'd have a fucking heart attack and die. Basically not cool. Especially after that shit with the laced weed, thinking i was gonna have a heart attack, and now this shit. Never took speed again, quit smoking pot too.

    Since then, I have actually smoked a little weed on particular rare occasions, (like once a year or less) got to a point where it doesn't freak me out too bad. I think I am mostly over the whole raging paranoia of "is it laced?" "will i die?" "am i having a heart attack?" thing. Pretty sure I'm good with it now, though it does make me pretty useless when I smoke. About all I can do is giggle, and tell ppl how fucking high I am, which I find endlessly amusing.

    I'm pretty sure i can find a reliable source of good, clean, safe weed. Maybe it would be good for me, idk.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2016
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  8. Dark Lizardro

    Dark Lizardro The Lizard that has a hammer Staff Member

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    Is there a tl;dr version of this, bot?
     
  9. DeeGun

    DeeGun Church of Krust

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    Karlesque but clearly not as confusing.
     
  10. Dannyboy93

    Dannyboy93 EL CAPITAIN

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    smoking weed is fun, but its all about DMT these days bro, gotta keep with the times!
     
  11. Claus601

    Claus601 Custom Title

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    Tundra Vibez and Kratom tea
     
  12. mr karnage

    mr karnage deep inside the jungle

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    What ze fuck did you just fucking say about me, you verdammter Jude? I'll have you know I graduated top of mein class in ze Hitlerjugend, and I've been involved in numerous secret Gestapo raids in Berlin, and I have over 300 confirmed executions. I am trained in gorilla gassing and I am ze top sniper in ze entire Wehrmacht. You are nothing to me but just another race traitor. I will wipe you ze fuck out with precision ze likes of which has never been seen before on this Reich, mark mein fucking words. You think you can get away with saying zat scheiße to me over ze Internet? Think again, arschloch. As vee speak I am contacting mein secret network of spies across Deutschland and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for ze storm, blödel. Ze storm zat wipes out ze pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and zat's just with mein machinenpistole. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed kampf, but I have access to ze entire arsenal of ze Wehrmacht forces and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable arsch off ze face of ze Reich, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy blitzkrieg your little "clever" kommentar was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying ze price, you verdammter dummkopf. I will shit Zyklon B all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
     
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  13. Dark Lizardro

    Dark Lizardro The Lizard that has a hammer Staff Member

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    Is there a tl;dr version of this?
     
  14. Claus601

    Claus601 Custom Title

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  15. IV4

    IV4 Currently a newt.

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    Hitler is cool.
     
  16. Dark Lizardro

    Dark Lizardro The Lizard that has a hammer Staff Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  17. Claus601

    Claus601 Custom Title

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    Enter a captcha
     
  18. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney ENTHUSED WITH ETHNOGRAPHIC PLUNDERPHONICS Staff Member

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    Birdie putt
     
  19. Dark Lizardro

    Dark Lizardro The Lizard that has a hammer Staff Member

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