A joke!!

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by meathead1512, Feb 2, 2009.

  1. meathead1512

    meathead1512 Member

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    3 babies in a womb discussing what they would be when they were born and grown up 1st said "i wanna b a plumber so i can fix the pipes in here coz its a bit leaky" 2nd said "i wanna b an electrician so i can get some light in here its a bit dark" 3rd said "i wanna b a boxer" the others thought this was hilarious and asked why? he replied "so i can beat the shit out of that bald bloke who keeps comin in here and spittin on us!"

    Please feel free to add more jokes!!
     
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2009
  2. JAGZ

    JAGZ Well-Known Member

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    more of this ^^^^
     
  3. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    :orly::wave: .. note to yourself .. .must try harder .. theres a joke thread somewhere aswell , wang it in there mate . i genrally dont laugh at jokes unless there fuckin funny, so maybe am just a borin shitbag
     
  4. DJ NUERA

    DJ NUERA 5HEAD

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    naaaaah, id say your more of a ballbag. :teeth:
     
  5. meathead1512

    meathead1512 Member

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    Thanks borin shitbag for letting me know there is a joke thread in here, i will wang it in there then!! Apologies to all for the the shit joke...
     
  6. barbarella

    barbarella Active Member

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    actually i cant find a joke thread....
    this one was cute :)
     
  7. Lunos

    Lunos Active Member

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    i like jokes
     
  8. meathead1512

    meathead1512 Member

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    Seeing there's no joke thread, i may as well start one for the people with a scene humour ;)

    One more to bore you with!!

    Bob liked to frequent the beaches, but was never able to attract the girls. He decided to ask his friend George the lifeguard for advice.
    'It's dem big baggy swimming trunks, my son. Dey're years outta style. Yer best bet is to grab yeself a pair of
    Speedos - about two sizes too small, and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm telling ye, man...ye 'll have all de babes ye wants !'
    The following weekend, Bob hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato. Everybody on the beach was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick!
    Bob went back to George the lifeguard and and asked him, 'What's wrong now? '
    'Lard-Tunderin' Jeezus b'y!' said George, ' t he potato goes in the front!!'
     
  9. Borf™

    Borf™ Borf

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  10. JunglelisticG

    JunglelisticG I ♥ Drum'N'Bass

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    Bloke holds a party where each guest has to come dressed as an emotion..
    1st guest arrives painted green with N and V across his chest 'Im green with envy he says' :lol:
    Woman arrives in pink body stockin with feathers around her bits 'im tickled pink'
    Next 2 guests are Irish, 1 with his *COUGH COUGH* penis in a bowl of custard,the other one with his nob stuck in a pear...
    The host is shocked and asks what they have come as..
    'Well oim fukin discustard and mick has cum in dispair':gang_bang
     
  11. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    haha yeah only i heard it in jamaican. if it wasnt for that post id have reported this thread to the moderators, with the bald guy spitting at babies, highly inappropriate behaviour for an adult not to mention unhygenic
     
  12. Ch4ndler

    Ch4ndler I've been naughty, I'm banned

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    Made me lol.

    [​IMG]
     
  13. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    haha yeah man me too :lol:
     
  14. meathead1512

    meathead1512 Member

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    A Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.

    The wife was very upset about this and asked: 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'

    Maria: 'Well Señora, there are three reasons why I want an increase.
    The first is that I iron better than you.'
    Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'
    Maria: 'Your husband said so.'
    Wife: 'Oh.'

    Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.'
    Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?'
    Maria: 'Your husband did.'
    Wife: 'Oh.'

    Maria: 'My third reason is that I am a better lover than you.'
    Wife (really furious now): 'Did my husband say that as well?'
    Maria: 'No Señora, the gardener did.' :oops_sign

    SHE GOT THE RAISE :D
     
  15. meathead1512

    meathead1512 Member

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    Man puts his wife on ebay!!
     

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  16. Ch4ndler

    Ch4ndler I've been naughty, I'm banned

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    Legend
     
  17. meathead1512

    meathead1512 Member

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    One morning a Scotsman is having breakfast in Paris, (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and marmalade) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Scotsman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

    Frenchman: 'You Scots folk eat the whole bread?'

    Scotsman (in a bad mood): 'Of course.'

    Frenchman (after blowing a huge bubble): 'We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to Scotland.'
    The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.

    The Scotsman listens in silence.

    The Frenchman persists: 'Do you eat marmalade with your bread?'

    Scotsman: 'Of course.'

    Frenchman (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling): 'We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into marmalade, and sell the marmalade to Scotland.'

    After a moment of silence, the Scotsman asks: 'Do you have sex in France?'

    Frenchman: 'Why of course we do', he says with a big smirk.

    Scotsman: 'And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?'

    Frenchman: 'We throw them away, of course.'

    Scotsman: 'We don't. In Scotland, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France.' :D

    No disrespect to the French intended!!
     
  18. JunglelisticG

    JunglelisticG I ♥ Drum'N'Bass

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    Man stands naked lookin in the mirror and says to his wife..
    'why do I always get a hard on when i look at myself' :gslayer:

    Wife replies... ' Coz ur a cunt' :lol_board
     
  19. djhektikz

    djhektikz Active Member

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    One good thing about getting older is that multi-tasking becomes easier...

    You can sneeze,piss and shit yourself all at the same time!
     
  20. meathead1512

    meathead1512 Member

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    NINE WORDS WOMEN USE :readthis:

    (1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

    (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour Five minutes is only five minutes if you ha ve just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

    (3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
    (4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

    (5) Loud S igh: This is actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

    (6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous stateme nts a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake .

    (7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

    (8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

    (9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3. :nutkick: