50 shades of chav

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by _MILLA, Jul 2, 2012.

  1. _MILLA

    _MILLA Flamboyant muthafucka

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    "Even though he only had one tattoo I yearned for him to fill those lonely hours between Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women". "As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his nike vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight.""As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to the block in the alley-way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same..."


    any1 care to continue ? logikz maybe ?
     
  2. greddie

    greddie Super Sir Loin

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    ...after we had finished and the tramp had shot his load into an empty kfc box i sparked up a sovereign i pinched from an old lady. i combed back my long greasy dirty peroxided hair with my fat stumpy fingers, scratched my arse and took a slow amble to the nearest off licence. I bought 2 cans of speacial brew with some of my dole money and went and sat on a bench....
     
  3. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    right, took a while but i get it now, its like the sex book 50 shades of greaaaz but with chav instead? its a good idea. could probably merge this one with the other one. i been too distraught to think about fucking lately. an old ex contacted me about sex but first wanted to know if i had aids. via sms. i said next time they say chocolate cake or aids, ill know what to say. she sms back are you joking? i didnt reply. cant be bothered right now, im at the gates. the crossroads in life. what to do what to do. im plauged with indecision and an unsustainable situation. i need counseling, spiritual guidance. but not one that doesnt tell me what i want to hear ok only if they say precisely what i want them to and then jazz on out of there with half my redbull filled with vodka, a red straw, and look like im walking down the road playing the damn saxamaphone.
     
  4. hyperd4eva

    hyperd4eva H&M SCARVES

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    Karl you have aids? Stay positive
     
  5. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    thanks tone but i have no choice.
     
  6. JReilly

    JReilly Member

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    Haaaaaaaaaaa............

    I got it!
     
  7. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    ah right, i got it too now. shut up tony.
     
  8. JReilly

    JReilly Member

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    Aids or the Joke?
     
  9. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    a fair bit of aids. quite the amount. enough to go around. but i did get some chocolate cake too, so it all evens out in the end. did you ever test for aids man whoa boy that whole deal is no joke. nerve wrecking, but soon as the results are in, i mean whether its yes or no, its like getting the go ahead from the sex commission right, whatever happens you have it and its not going anywhere so i guess just rock out with your jock out i mean what else can you do.
     
  10. greddie

    greddie Super Sir Loin

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