Top Five Male Masturbation Techniques

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by pantyinspector, May 1, 2008.

  1. pantyinspector

    pantyinspector BANDWIDTH RAPIST

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    Top Five Masturbation Techniques

    “ORAL” SIMULATION
    To simulate the feeling of lips sliding over the penis head: Lube up your erection and hold the shaft in one hand. Put your dominant hand’s index and middle fingers together horizontally, palm toward your face, in front of the penis head. Push the head into the gap between the fingers. The fingers should be relaxed, not tense. Now pull back and do this over and over the top third of the penis. Feel how the fingers conform to the penis’s contour as they slide over the head and back. As you do this, position your other hand behind the “lips,” and grip and squeeze the head as you push the penis in.

    ROSY PALM & BLANKET
    Lie in bed with a soft blanket on top of you; hold your penis with one hand and stick it straight up so the head is touching the blanket. Then with your other hand go outside (on top of) the blanket and try the Rosy Palm technique through the blanket. You don’t need lube; all you feel on your penis head is your soft blanket. You might not be able to continue this for long because of how sensitive your penis head can become.

    THE MILKER
    Make a ring around the base of your penis with your well-lubricated right hand’s thumb and forefinger, and slide it up along the shaft. When the ring reaches the head, make a ring around the base of your penis with your well-lubricated left hand, and work it up. Repeat the process when your left “ring” reaches the head of your penis. The idea is to go up without ever going down. You can use only the thumb and forefinger or add the other fingers as you get away from the base.

    MONKEY GRIP
    This one is great if you like to massage your scrotum with one hand while you masturbate with the other. If you’re right-handed, instead of holding your scrotum from the left side, cross your wrists (left wrist on top) so you’re grabbing your scrotum from the right side. You may have to bend your body to the right to get the best position. If you’ve never done this before, it will feel like someone else is holding your scrotum. Tip: As you masturbate with the other hand, press your fingertips and thumb into the cracks between your scrotum and each thigh, and gently massage those areas with slow, rhythmic movements.

    THE “VAGINA”
    Lie down on your side and hold onto your penis with the “Backhand” grip. Roll over further and brace your hand against the bed, and thrust your penis in and out of your hand. This closely mimics the movements of intercourse. It’s a very different feeling to masturbate by moving your pelvis rather than your hand. It’s also fun to put your other hand down and feel your scrotum moving back and forth as you pump in and out of the “vagina.”
     
  2. Nutek

    Nutek movement junglist

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    your posts get more and more brilliantly fucked up each day (y)
     
  3. pantyinspector

    pantyinspector BANDWIDTH RAPIST

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    just depends were in the world i am and what sites im looking at buddy
     
  4. Nutek

    Nutek movement junglist

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  5. Shatner's Bosom

    Shatner's Bosom murder TANMUSHIMUSHI

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    I can't figure this one out at all
     
  6. EWOKS

    EWOKS POTATOES GONNA POTATE

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    hahahaha
     
  7. IV4

    IV4 I didn't vote for him!

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    Epic repost.
     
  8. Catsel

    Catsel what is it that hears?

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    don't thonk reporst is the right term ivan.

    maybe.

    some sort of resurrectum? im not 100% sure on the terminology of forum terminology.

    :worm:
     
  9. IV4

    IV4 I didn't vote for him!

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    You good sir are correct. I found this news article that supports your claim, while I digress.

    [​IMG]
     
    Shatner's Bosom likes this.
  10. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    whats this thread do. is this the work of a bot. A DROIDEKA
     
  11. hyperd4eva

    hyperd4eva DJ BUSTER

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  12. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney CHIEF MINION

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    Whats the one called with Vinegar, cheese grater and sandpaper?
     
  13. RUSSLA

    RUSSLA DNBF Monarch

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    hahaha the fact this has over 580k views seriously makes me chuckle.

    DNBF catering to all your wanking needs. (y)
     
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  14. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    thats not masturbation thats definitely more a commited relationship kind of move

    dude dude dude, i just hung out with this guy whos been living with his gf for 4 years and they are breaking up right now, well, she is, and he is about as funny to hang out with as as as that thing you put. on the penis. when you were supposed to be getting that gratifying sex from a girl you know should never be touched and will forever be ruined permanently ruined from what you will have done to her mind at the same time as her body. i really really want to get high
     
  15. IV4

    IV4 I didn't vote for him!

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    I am honestly surprised the "stranger" is not in there.

    - - - Updated - - -


    "Mama always said, This thread do as this thread is," Forest Gump
     
  16. RUSSLA

    RUSSLA DNBF Monarch

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    maybe it didnt make the top five.. i'd say these are more inventive and less dangerous haha
     

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