Shittest Holiday....

Discussion in 'Waffle' started by Phat_Sam, Aug 9, 2010.

  1. Phat_Sam

    Phat_Sam Well-Known Member

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    Went to France... massively shit weather all week... our car got crashed into at 6 in the morning by some stupid drunk cunt... we had far too too much luggage to take on a plane... no hire car place let us take a car on the ferry over the channel... we had to walk on with it all... then I couldn't stop being sick on the boat.

    On the bright side... I have a bacon sandwich
     
  2. Borf™

    Borf™ Borf

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    I went to Bulgaria like month and a half ago.

    It was brilliant getting pissed all the time for cheap. But, on the second night my two mates got into a fight and we spent a whole week ducking from police and then we helped smuggle them out the country basically.
     
  3. Scatcat

    Scatcat It don't mean shit

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    I was in France - 14/15 - me and a couple of mates bought a shitload of thopse firecrackers, all different types of em. We made a pile of em in the middle of the road and were carrying out the preliminary safety precautions when we decided that the middle of the road was not the best place for our pyrotechnic experiment. So we moved the pile to the pavement beside.
    Here's where it started going downhill. We lit the pile and it started goin off like a retard with a stutter. After about 30 seconds the tree beside it had caught fire, quickly spreading to the tree next to it. We ran back to the villa and told our parents that the massive black smoke cloud about a 800m away was our fault.

    They took us back to where it had happened and all the townsfolk were standing there just staring at us with their hatefull little french eyes. But we didn't really get into that much trouble, considering we destroyed a whole vinyard. But my family can't get holiday insurance now.

    Moral of the story is, Frace is a shithole.
     
  4. Phat_Sam

    Phat_Sam Well-Known Member

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    France is a shithole... they hate the brits too.


    We phoned the fuzz cos the driver was wasted and they basically just told us to fuck off cos it 'wasnt their problem'

    cuntzzz
     
  5. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    they smashed the window and stole the car stereo. the police were really friendly when they found out we werent german.
     
  6. herojuana

    herojuana hairy kuala

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    when i go snowboarding with my uni it is always in france, and i make a point of annoying as many french people as possible

    fuck the french. cunts
     
  7. tr7 kid

    tr7 kid Member

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    looool
     
  8. tone090

    tone090 Bare back rider!

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    What did you do? wrap em up and shove them up your ass?
     
  9. DeeGun

    DeeGun Socialist

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    24 hour trip to london NYE 2007 I guess..was meant to be shit - only 24 hours.

    Entered the bus in Hamburg and then in lower saxony a bunch of drunken kids filled up the bus.
    Some old dudes soon got into an argument with them cause they were freakin loud. Lotsa blahblah. The old bunch wanted a fight, a mate fixed it.

    Ever tried to sleep in a bus? I couldn´t. I don´t need to mention that nobody cared about anyone, so these german bastards got all seats laid back and everybody else was fucked.

    Tried to go on toilet but didn´t find the light switch, couldnt close the door properly..MAD.

    Several people had a dump altho it was prohibited by the driverz.

    Arriving at Calais - Heavy Sea - WAIT 2 or even more hours, don´t remember.

    Then ferry...still heavy sea (you couldn´t walk properly, shook left to right), got pretty sick.
    Lotsa bastards on the ferry.

    Arriving in London - the tour begins. We didn´t pay so got out. In the middle of nowhere.
    There was a roadsign I remember pointing out the way to the new den.

    So. We were pretty fresh, god knows why, and started a massive drink and eat tour including shopping and whatsoever. Later towards NYE, we got more and more tired. Couldn´t drink anymore and desperately wanted my bed. Plan - find hotel room to chill - FAILED

    There was a party set up for the members of the tour but you had to pay a fuckin 40 €uros for that.
    We didn´t and we couldn´t sneak in - the security was harsh.
    My mate then wanted to reach into town, altho we were already at the meeting point where the bus had to leave laterz. What a mad idea, he wouldn´t have been back for years. We argued - the time didn´t go on, the bus delayed hours an hours and the way back was the same shite as the way to get to LDN. Except the fact that a fat, stinkin bastard sat in front of me passing out in a bucket and on himself..and tbh everywhere else.

    :angry:
     
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2010
  10. Borf™

    Borf™ Borf

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    Packed their bags for them and met them near the airport because security we're keeping a hawk eye on them the whole time (security thought we were in a different apartment and just met them there.)

    Then at the airport, they held everything off till the last second, we were telling the people our two friends' taxi had a crash and they're on their way, so everything was rushed through when they arrived so there was less chance of being caught.

    Worked a treat. Last week they had a letter (they're brothers) saying that the next time they went to Bulgaria they'd be arrested in the airport and taken to a station for statments and charing if it went that far. Basically saying to them, we never want you here again haha.
     
  11. tone090

    tone090 Bare back rider!

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    Haha fuck. I went to Sunny Beach last year, quite alot of Mafia over there as well.
     
  12. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney CHIEF MINION

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    Something goes crazy everytime I leave the country

    Got half a tooth kicked out by security in Bahamas
    Got all my luggage stolen on the 1st night in Spain, plus a bag of replacement boxers stolen by a group of hookers
    Took all my clothes off in front of my Grandma in Bulgaria
    Got robbed by 2 hookers in Amsterdam on different occasions in a 6 hour time span
    Spent a week in Greece with a big shit in the bath after my uncle got too fucked and shit in it
    Crashed a stolen car into a wall with 2 guys I'd just met another time in Spain, the next day my uncle fell asleep on a path woke up with a tyre print on his back and a smashed up moped, that had crashed into him, wrapped around a lamppost.
     
  13. Moskit

    Moskit Currently G13 T-Shirt

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    My Nan caught me masturbating into a Sunny Delight Bottle, next to a river on a Family Camping trip to Bath, that was a pretty shit holiday.
     
  14. jmzmaloney

    jmzmaloney CHIEF MINION

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    As in she caught your jizz in the Sunny Delight bottle?
     
  15. Moskit

    Moskit Currently G13 T-Shirt

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    That would make it into a great holiday, alas, she just saw me beating myself into a Sunny Delight bottle, which was wierd, beacause I was next to a river...

    Guess i'm just an environmentally concious type of guy.
     
  16. herojuana

    herojuana hairy kuala

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    don't lie. you were scared you would get a fish pregnant, and there would be weird moskfish swimming around raping baby fish.
     
  17. Hombre-J

    Hombre-J Currently Ballsacked

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  18. groelle

    groelle Well-Known Member

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    can imagine that pretty good tbh xD
     
  19. logikz

    logikz I Am Not The King Staff Member

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    it was weird, we had to wait for 3 hrs at the police station just to report it, but when they found out we were swedish we got to speak to the police chief and all. they couldnt do anything of course, but it was for the insurance.
     
  20. dnbkingz

    dnbkingz Ⓓ Ⓔ Ⓡ Ⓟ

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    You don't sound Sweedish.
     

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