The Sick Joke Thread.

[rob_del_terror]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Joey AdhD again.

[ZackMRG]

The shootings at the cinema in Denver have ruined the Batman film for me.

All I can see in my pirate copy is the audience running about.

[Joey AdhD]

so there i am in the boozer last night, lookin fresh with the lads, this birds comes over, 'ello', i play it cool, 'hier what your name?' i ask. 'jade' she replies...

'whats you name?' she asks being all keen, 'sledge' i reply...

'wow, thats unusual, is that because you would hammer me in bed?' she asks...

'no, its cos i keep gettin pulled by dogs in boozers.'

[rob_del_terror]

Some people don't know the meaning of hygiene. There I was with my friend, in the cemetery, digging up a corpse to fuck it up its arse. After we managed to dig it up and have our way with it, my friend says: "What if the police come, take sperm samples and find out it was us? Let's destroy the evidence."

So he sticks a straw up the arse and starts sucking. At some point he looks up to me and says: "I've had enough! You have a go."

Disgusted, I said: "Fuck off, you cunt! Not with the same straw!"

[rob_del_terror]

Bradley Wiggins is known to some of his fans as Princess Diana because he's a smash hit on the streets of Paris.

[rob_del_terror]

Ernie Els has given most of the credit for winning the open to his 9 year old autistic son, he said " because he's an annoying little bastard i went out and practiced more".

[rob_del_terror]

really wanna see that new batman film, might wait till the crowd dies down.

did you know that pregnant women get hemorrhoids, its bloody shit.

my wifes got an hour-glass figure, it takes her 60 minutes to get her knickers over her arse.

[Castel]

There once was a vampire named Mabel
whose periods ran quite stable;
every full moon, she'd pull out a spoon
and drink herself under the table.

[richie_stix]

I've heard that the special effects are very realistic in the new Batman movie. The audience was completely blown away.

[rob_del_terror]

The wife came home with a pack of nappies and a bag of baby clothes.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said, "Gary Barlow is having a car boot sale."

[Castel]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to rob_del_terror again.

pfft

[Kenneth4Eva]

I once knew a lass from Tacoma,
whose twat had a wondrous aroma,
when the lads took a whiff,
about half would get stiff,
the rest would fall into a coma.

[mistasfx]

^^^^ new Eksman lyric?? lol

[equilibrium]

Bill Hicks, London.

And then there's this...

[Castel]

What's blue and doesn't fit?

A dead epileptic