its a good start but i would really like it if after say 8 - 16 bars you ret rid of the the melody as it is and put like a smooth undulating bass line with elements of the melody coming in and out. I hope you understand what i mean
pretty much what junglistguy said... this could have soOoOoOo much more energy with a punching beat could introduce reeces or synth stabs as well for progression. Atmosphere is lovely!!