Dear diary,

[armed]

she wants my dick...it's obvious.


let me fill you in.

There's this girl I used to know from a number of years back when me and just about every other person in watford aged 13-18 would sit in the infamous 'back park' and drink watered down vodka and smoke shwag bud. Anyway, she popped up in FB chat a couple weeks ago at about 3 in the morning and we got chatting, i was a little weirded out at first as i havn't seen or heard from her in years and even when i did know her, we never really spoke, but we got chatting and this lasted for a few hours. Naturally, i checked out her profile, and the inevitable "in a relationship with Some Knobhead" was there, and thought it best not to read into it too much.

i was up town for a few drinks on thursday, and i bumped into her at the bar, we said hi to eachover but she seemed a bit shy and i was trashed/hungry/sleep deprived so no real conversation took off, but in the club i noticed she kept looking over from time to time, "naaaaah, she's with someone, best not to read into it too much"

And then she popped up on chat again this evening, we conversed briefly, and she asked if i was gonna be up town again on tuesday, now i already have plans (even though those plans are to just sit in cassiobury park and have a few beers and a blunt with some mates) but said she's welcome to join us if she wants, and if the weather takes a turn for the worse i may join her up town that evening, she said she was gonna go watch big brother and left a 'xx' (2?! best not read too much into this)


2 hours later and i see a "that hot piece of ass you've been chattin to has gone from 'in a relationship' to 'single'"

she wants my dick....but how do i play this????



you don't think im reading too much into this?

[dirty breaks]

ITT Ahmed thinks he is in with a chance to lose his virginity.

[armed]

ITT Ahmed thinks he is in with a chance to lose his virginity.

funnily enough, i lost it to one of her best mates about 4 years ago.

[d-low]

I reckon she's in that end of relationship stage where they branch out to see what other males are around to give them attention and such, and you could be there to take her mind off of things. So yes you could be in, by default! Post results?

[EWOKS]

"now i already have plans (even though those plans are to just sit in cassiobury park and have a few beers and a blunt with some mates) but said she's welcome to join us if she wants"

you're 19, you're inviting birds to sit in a park with ure mates and pass a ' blunt ' around ...


STEP UP YO MUHFUGGIN GAME NEGGA !!

srsly .. doe ... just say, you wanna come round mine for a few drinks and stay over tonight maybe or what ? ... or can she not come round coz you have dennis the menace wallpaper in ure bedroom ? ... if so ... stinky fingaz ina dee park init lads

[Kenneth4Eva]

your probably going to end up as her rebound. don't even expect sex. i say wing it but dont take it to seriously she might just want to hang out

[armed]

your probably going to end up as her rebound. don't even expect sex. i say wing it but dont take it to seriously she might just want to hang out

rebound or not, fuck it, i'm gonna try.

been fucking ages since i've been with anyone and the last girl i was with fucked me up so much i've been unable to even chat to a girl for over a year, so i'll probably only end up fucking it up somehow

[$marty]

Man our Ahmeds growing up.
Take her out somewhere. Take her up Vue or something. Don't go up Casio, that's kids stuff.

[dirty breaks]

rebound or not, fuck it, i'm gonna try.

been fucking ages since i've been with anyone and the last girl i was with fucked me up so much i've been unable to even chat to a girl for over a year, so i'll probably only end up fucking it up somehow

you know what, go for it. whether she likes it or not, have sex with her. put on your best chinos and take her to Nandos (pay for her meal too, if you don't have the money then beg your mum) then take her to a bar afterwards and sit outside with some cocktails and shit. all throughout the day just be nice, but don't be a sap. be a man, allow the ex it's your time with her. get her just pissed enough whilst your out to come back to yours. once back at your house have a hit from the bong or two, put on some mood music (a bit of bob marley to go with the weed and cos no girl hates bob marley, FACT) then take it from there, get her naked, do the deed, take pics, post em up on here. make sure that you've got the house free though, 'cos you don't want to be in the middle of fucking her brains out only for your mum to open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.

[ApeCat]

When she's sending you non-ambiguous signals you that's when you've got to smell the fuse burning, as we say around these ends; women communicate in ambivalence and vagueness, indirect communication is to be read as direct confrontation indirect communication should be read as one of them Japanese cartoons - from right to left.

She's being way too obvious, I'm beginning to smell owls in the moss as they say around these ends, seriously.

[Papa Jaro]

Could you elaborate on Owls and moss a bit mate? That one lost me. Also..

Take her out somewhere. Take her up Vue or something. Don't go up Casio, that's kids stuff.

Man speaks the truth.

[Toejam]

Hopefully it will all end naturally and you will find yourself dry humping the corner of the family sofa crying into a scatter cushion, then onto the next bitch

[Kenneth4Eva]

i want to see pictures....unless she is under 18 maybe not

[ApeCat]

Could you elaborate on Owls and moss a bit mate? That one lost me.

It's just one of dem things that we all understand sort of in this collective cultural subconsciousness but don't make any sense at all literally, syntactically or even metaphorically... Just means somethings fishy, up, sounds dodgy mate or sketchy..

[Papa Jaro]

Owls can look a bit sketchy..