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i work in an outdoor activity centre and im ICT training for a week..........im so fucking bored
any jokes?
i work in an outdoor activity centre and im ICT training for a week..........im so fucking bored
any jokes?
3 blokes walk into a bar... 1 bloke is stupid ... and the whole scene rolls out with a tedius inevitability:roll:
a man walks into a bar
hes got an alkohol problem that will probably ruin his family
2 Nuns in a bath one nun says to teh other "Wheres the Soap"
The other says "it does doesn't it""
2 Tramps on a bench...one says "nice out innit" The other says "Yes, now put it away before we get arrested"
:cowbell:
3 blokes walk into a bar... 1 bloke is stupid ... and the whole scene rolls out with a tedius inevitability:roll:
hahahahaha bill bailey! :D made me laugh
2 Nuns in a bath one nun says to teh other "Wheres the Soap"
The other says "it does doesn't it""
i dont get this:-/
i dont get this:-/
Its a play on words the second nun is using the soap as a dildo and it wears the soap - sighs I have to explain everything to these amateurs LOL
:cowbell: !!!
Time Dependant
21-02-2007, 18:49
The husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual,
"I have a headache."
"Perfect," her husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my dick with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository, it's up to you!"
Two souls are on their way to heaven. On the way they spot two leopards. "Ah, Leopards! they say. The leopards, being polite, say nothing.
Q - whats white and blue and sits in a tree?
A - a fridge with a denim jacket on.
Two souls are on their way to heaven. On the way they spot two leopards. "Ah, Leopards! they say. The leopards, being polite, say nothing.
HEAHEAEHAAEHEA
HEAHEAEHAAEHEA
Took me several days to get that one when I got told it :(
Last edited by josh : Yesterday at 20:13. Reason: Was drunk last night, and made a critical error ;)
:lol:
Two souls are on their way to heaven. On the way they spot two leopards. "Ah, Leopards! they say. The leopards, being polite, say nothing.
oh NOW i get it. very good.
/needs audio, say it in your head
what like leppers? is that it? dude im hung the fuck over and im high on speed and im at work and im going to indonesia tonight and im buying an emu sampler at 1500 hrs so whats up
fuck man, when you put it like that I think you should ...
imagine this
Two souls are on their way to heaven. On the way they spot two leopards. "Ah, Leopards! they say. The leopards, being funny bastards, say "AH SOULS"
:laugh:
WAIT I GET IT GODDAMN IT HARGLE HARGLE THAT WAS THE THING? man who in their right mind gets that
Logikz, you're not in your right mind!
Took me several days to get that one when I got told it :(
i still dont get it
The leopards, being polite, say nothing. If they weren't as polite they may have replied to the statement "Ah leopards" with "AH SOULS" (aresholes).
U can thank Brett for that one.
remind me to kick im in the ass when i see him
apples will know who i mean ;)
bbjohnson420
23-02-2007, 17:12
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow hits against her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll
forgive me." She replies,
"If your penis is as hard as your elbow,
I'm in room 221."
bbjohnson420
23-02-2007, 17:13
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later ,
Bill came home and his wife could see
at once that something was seriously wrong.
What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
"Do you remember that I told you how I had this
tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed.
Yes, I did." he replied.
My God, Bill, what happened?"
"I got fired."
"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle
slicer?"
" Oh...she got fired too."
bbjohnson420
23-02-2007, 17:14
A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times." Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
"One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went golfing.
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went golfing.
Obviously teh man had no imagination !!!:builder:
apples will know who i mean ;)
i get it now
:hype:
A man walked a into bar ouch!!!! it was a metal bar
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